THE SHOCKING TRUTH OF CHOONG JIAN HAN aka man vs wild

This is about my cousin Choong Jian Han... this imformation may be shocking and not for the weak hearts.

• Looks can be decieving
• Jian Han sings like my grandma's grandma's great grandma's dog
• Jian Han likes watching discovery channel.
• Jian Han is my cousin.
• Jian Han likes one of the 3 pork chops as shown in the list of nicknames.
• Jian Han is very arrogant sometimes.
• Jian Han can be abit stupid at times.
• Jian Han is disgusting.. eg:dig his nose and eats it, drink pee and faeces, likes to wash his face with drain water and the list goes on for another 100miles.
• Jian Han likes to watch the xxx stuff same like litao.
• Jian Han is vry sensitive, eg: he always he is hurt.
• Jian Han is very irresponsible.
• Jian Han is 4 ft 8 or smthing like that
• Jian Han likes to make fun of ppl espiacially girls.
• Jian Han got a mind of a 7 yr old body of a 10 yr old...girl and smartness of a 8 yr old...yeah!!!
• Jian Han likes britney spears.
• Jian Han likes barney and teletabies
• He is not gay but very very very damn not so but vry so gay
• Jian Han's father is damn strict.
• Jian Han likes being the centre of attention.
• Jian Han is not a baby!!!!
• O ya... his nickname is little boy... or xiao didi

this is totally true because i am his cousin..hehehehe...hahahahah...muahahahhaha. you'll never see jian han the same way again.

p.s. to jian han: dont kill me.

p.s.s: if u wanna date jian han the best gift is a dog for him.

By some crap,BEN

the darryl louis de souza personality review

darryl's still at aussie so i think hes goin to kill all the cookiemonster editors that wrote bout him.... but u know wat they say............................ wtf they say actuali???? i hav no idea... if u're interested in darryl and wanted to date him(gender can be anything), i suggest you to read this and remember it....

• hes a portugese (but not even 1% of cristiano ronaldo)
• he wear specs which is reported stolen from the us national history museum
• dlds, darryl, darryl louis, d-zhai, hak kwai, coward, siu sa ko is all his name
• hes crazy bout football
• he is short, muscle-less(i mean weak)
• he likes to swear
• hes hopeless in love
• hes somehow sensitive ( but hes nth compared to taufu boy)
• he watch barney but he says its porn
• dlds is interested in gigolo
• he like to act cool
• ben's dog looks better than him
• brain of a 3yr old but a body of 8000 years old
• doesn hav any sense of humor
• not black but whitishly black
• mayb he still liks oky
• he has no taste in choosing gf
• doesn know wats the best place to go during holidays (ben go AMSTERDAM but he go aussie... haih)
• got bikini body
• pregnant 5 months and duno y the baby wont grow anymre

dun wan write d..... later he kill me......... but who cares?????????????????

• age 14 but mind is -1001010000yrs old but still he liks to act mature
• the person who found the fatt-din disease which has been mutated from aids
• he runs lik a girl
• do not date him bcos he's gay but i tink he liks both gender........... date ben's dog better

ok thats all for now..... later he come bck from aussie, hope he wont kill me...

p.s. pls dun kill me......

The first ever article that is done together by cat & bird......

THE REAL TRUTH BOUT LITAO!!! REVEALED...EXPOSED XXX

Nth much xxx in this story so if ur a miang person no point reading but if ur interested in Lit How.... well u can read this and also ask me if u wanna noe more bout him. hehehe. Dun kill me litao : )

this is a list of stuff u should know:

• Lit How is bald (nth big).
• Lit How loves prost.
• Lit How watch u know what when he is bored.
• Lit How is miang.
• Lit How lives with his aunt and uncle.
• Lit How hates children eventhough he has child like mind
• Lit How likes football
• Lit How is immature like jian han but like to act mature.
• Lit How is vry vry serious yet not serious but seriously not serious but also kinda serious
• Lit How is not gay.
• You have no chance dating Lit How so date Nigel Ting or ME

By someone crappy, BEN

movie scene

this is a scene from a movie which i jus watched for the 3rd time.. so i got this scene and i want u all to guess what movie is it from... pls write down ur answer at the comments or email me (lithow619@hotmail.com)..... if u wan to tell ur answer to ben, his add is (ben13_genius@hotmail.com) but i cant guarantee u ur answer will be confirmed immediately so i advise u to email me instead.. (not to say ur useless,ben) y i so cheong hei 1 ah??? anyway pls pls pls pls leave ur answer at the comments/email... name can put nickname.. dun care...






hint: this movie is listed in the favourite movies vote and it got 2 votes...

btw, sorry... correct guess no prize :P just for u all to have some fun...


image by, bird
text by, bird
done by, bird

Pure Genius!!!

OK so the story begins in a primary school at pulau pinang or anywhere in Malaysia....

the teacher was teaching the class basic math. She then told her class a math question.

Teacher: If you was driving at the penang bridge at totally over the speed limit and there were 3 road blocks along the penang bridge. If each fine given for speeding was rm 150, how much do you need to pay??

A smart alec type of boy (just like me) raised up his hand then he stood up and answer.

Boy: Rm 150

Teacher: huh??? but each fine is rm 150 why do you say that??

the boy then replied....

Boy: we only need to pay Rm150 because Rm50 each for each policemen bribe. Rm50 multiplies by 3 i Rm150.

The teacher then fainted. This shows the coruption in Malaysia. Even a small boy like Ah boy here also knows how to bribe.

By: BEN

daryl's story part 2

before i start, pls vote for wat do u tink of our blog.. n daryl,enjoy ur holidays n im sorry wat i wrote bout u last time cos this 1 is much worse......

like wat ben said, daryl is a guy that always wants attention.. he wear drop pants lik the pants got bit by a rottweiler n cant pull back up again.. u know wat i mean??? he likes to say f-word which is seriously stupid cos he say it for no reason... y he likes to point middle finger?? cos he got angry and irritated or watsoever... hes short n he liks to pretend that hes tall..... look at jian han, short,irritating, stupid, disgusting (no ofence ah, jian han)..... but hes still cute and at least he doesn act lik darryl..

he said love is dumb... jus bcos he doesnt get to be wit khye yin so he was lik !@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_(*&^%$#@!#$)(*&^%$#$%^&*()+{_P)(*&^%$#@!@#$)_)(*&^%$#@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&!~@^&*_)(*&^%$#@...... n he said love is dumb.. try tell 100 ppl, love is dumb.. 80 out of 100 will give him a slap.... if all the 100 ppl is girls mayb he'l get 90 slaps.. then mayb he'll try ask 100 guys.. 60 will give him a slap.. so total is: guy + girlss group: 70, guy group: 60, girls group:90... total is 220 slaps n mayb he'l get a double.. who knows? i wonder wat happens if he tell everybody in this world love is dumb??


i dunno wat else to say n wtf am i writin above but who cares????????????? its fun although its stupid,crapppy, retarded n .............




by your stuppid,brainless retarded writer: bird

Continue of daryl's story.

Thx lit how for letting me write smthing eventhough its crap....

Before i start, a word to lit how and monica... this is not fats its muscle.... and not all fat ppl have short live. Later ur husband still alive and u kia(die) oredi den how??? Later all ur money go to him.... o ya and a word to daryl also, what i am gonna write may anger u in some way i cant think of... maybe till u heart attack or stroke or run to prost house i oso dunno so i advise u dont read mine. o ya and u should relax more, no offence have fun in Aussie

Daryl, his black like black, short like himself (no offence jian han) sensitive like er... sensitive guy?? Anyway its hard to understand him sometimes you get what i mean... i bet u do, or don't? ok so my point is what makes him like that and what are the symptoms???

you see, usually a short person except jian han, likes to get attention because their short rite, For example, read the story "the pencil" from ur form 1 literiture. apart from that, a person hu's race is not from black races but i black colour or blacker then normal white person has very low self esteem, that means no confidence. this will make him sensitive, but unlike taufu boy, he don't cry like taufu boy so he express his anger by swearing, doing rude gesture(pointing middle finger), acting tough to tougher person like me, pretending he is tall etc...

I know if daryl is reading this, he probably be say wtf wtf &(&%I(**&&*& endlessly and preparing to write bout me... but this is totally understandably sensitivly stupidly idioticly crappy but real. u see, these are the syptoms of u. But who cares... its crap.

Another thing u said is love is dumb??? WELL OFCRSE IT IS.... i mean most ppl will go to the extent like proposing in public right?? well his dumb..... from love right. ok its crap love is not really dumb its real dumbishly not dumb. what am i talking?? o ya i am talking crap cause i ran out of ideas. but u liking OKY the fat i mean thin BITCH well not so thin jus normally abornormally uglyfying thin, its really super duper dumb.

well thats nth more to be said, i wont leave the next part for litao to do cause he hav no more ideas so do i. no offence to u daryl but wont it be better to jump from a building. Is that crap?? o ya it is... so bb

From your dumbishly stupid idiot crazy crappy writer, BEN

reply to chinese zombie

wahhhhhhhhhh.... daryl, write me until lik that very fun isit??? but its quite nice.. dont u think u went too far with the cheating gf+asshole+no balls+sohai+gaying+no asshole+gth......... chill la.... i write bad stuff but a bit oni ma... u go write lik i kill ur whole family 4 wat??? last time ben oso write bout me then we do lik debate.. u know wats patience n open-minded??? i say u gaying ah, everybody oso know its fake la... so big reaction for wat?? scare ur gf read is it??? n 4 ur information, i alrd told her i like her, k??? dun chi chok chung ming.. know wat i mean?? hiaz.....



by, bird

Lit How: Evolution of Chinese zombie to a monk??????

You all noe we always call lit how names like BIRD, litau n others. But now I'm talkin bout one of his names, th chinese zombie. U all see he's like dam freakin white like a chinese zombie and his whole life is just smsing until he DIE. Well, he say I gay with jian han rite, maybe he's the one gaying with another guy. He's just purposely creating a dam story bout me n jian han. N tis is a message to that asshole: U better stop gaying dude if not no gals wil like you. Oh ya, ha ha you are cheating on s0me1.

Ok back to the story, like i said in the title, all of u saw his new hairstyle. That BIRD looks like a retarded monk that likes to gay. He also look dam freakin SOHAi. I tink he go find giggolo evryday. Oh ya, and a message for all guys, dun go near him if not he will do somthing bad to you, u all noe wat i'm talkin bout. N to all gals, if you choose to be with him, you all gt no brains cos he will 100% cheat on u.Oh ya he always say i dun have da guts to tel a gal i like her bt he oso same oni dare admit on the internet, a cowardly act. He got so much time to tel her bt he no balls. U say i no balls bt u oso dun have asshole. GTH birdman, litau, chinese zombie/monk and Mr. BIRD lit how!!!!!!!!!!!

Chinese zombie monk( without the "ey")

Posted by: dLdS or darryl

bird: very funny daryl.. wtf r u talking bout anyway?? and its not my new hairstlye, im jus sick of it growing so dam fast n i must cut it every three/four weeks.. so bald better.. start of sch, not long not short... if u cant even accept wat i wrote about u, go die la.. ben write me lik sh!t oso i dun care...... wat la u... so easy get angry... sorry if i edited ur post but im lazy creating anothr post jus to reply u...

monica's type of guy

i jus interviewed hong wei's dream girl; monica... i interviewed her n she told me bout the type of guy that she liks...pls note that words in blue is wat i said n words in red is wat she said..


monica: i like a guy who is older than hong wei although hong wei is older than me but i dont want 20 years older but like 1 to 3 years lik my senior?
monica: and physique.. i hate those kinda muscle stuff kinda fake
monica: not malay
me: racist???
monica: wouldnt say so but maybe
monica: he MUST NOT hit a woman (jian han.............)
monica: cant think much at the moment but sure got some more
me: take ur time
monica: i want a guy taller than me ( refering to u ah, jian han?)
monica: not fat
monica: later die terlalu cepat (i think the last two sentence is for u, ben)



thats it from monica...our conv has been edited for some reason.. of course u all dun wan to read those crap rite??



by, bird

how do u describe jian han ?????

becos i was too bored so i ask a few ppl thats on9 bout how do they describe jian han...
here are the results:




monica: small, cute, slapping material, annoying, disgusting

jason: short, weird, annoying, funny, tiny

ben: stupidly idiotically cutishly anoyingly disgustingly irritating...

yin ling: cute, very naughty, too naughty, damn naughty, extremely naughty

beatrice: annoying but somehow getting nicer

si rou: Small,dirty minded,humourous,fun to be with,outrageous

hong wei: cute but irritating at times. hard to get angry at him.


yi hsien: disgusting.... cute but annoying.

calwin: gay

carmen: cute, disgusting, naughty

lit how: cute, disgusting, irritating, emo, loveable, willing to help, kinda stupid........ ( y i interview myslf???? dun care la...)




by, bird

darryl n jian han gaying at a hotel......

as u all know, darryl is going to australia(if u dunno pls refer to reply to daryls going on a holiday+posting lik mad) for his holidays n we're going to write bad stuff bout him.... but before that, i didn hear from him n jian han lately so this story is going to be about them..

1st of all, jian han and darryl are both at a hotel n the last time me n ben saw them is the time they went in. then the holidays start but i was wondering y oni me n ben on9 n nvr hear a single word fr jian han and darryl. so i went back to my hometown n ben went to europe. but dunno y me n ben can hear darryl n jian han screaming lik having sex and kena !#$% damn hard. mayb u will tink that they met a robber or getting kidnapped(check out their body size) but from my experience as a miang guy, i can tell that the scream is a bit lik enjoying+pain+exhausted. that means they're gaying at hotel...... of course they dun nid condom n the definitely not being with some prost becos they're gay.......

2nd, before darryl is gay, he fell in love with the bitch of the year, ooi khye yin... i dunno y but mayb as told by ben, hes wearing nightvision glasses n it makes him hard to see in the day. if he can see means hes not human, he got bad taste, hes crazy or hes(cant find other reasons)...... i dunno y he likes ky but thank god he gav up on her and now he hates her. btw i askd him wat does he tinks bout lov, he says its dumb. wat he said is strongly disagree by others e.g. carmen cheah, me, ben, n other ppl that i dunno who...


i dunno wat to write d so im goin leave the rest to ben..

by, bird

khye yin sucks part 5

ok now im goin to continue ky sux part 5............. but before that, i got a msg for ben, since when i lik jo yee(goh),jeanne and wai loan???? u mental ar?? but its quite nice though.. ok, ky sucks part 5.. im not goin to write bout her mafaness or watsoever, im goin to leave tat to ben in ky sux part 6 (i wonder got how many part)... tis part is about her appearance n how yong sui she is..

1st of all, her teeth.. do u notice that between her teeth theres something brownish which is motherfu**ing disgusting and who is so abnormal n wanted to talk to her?? i wonder wat kinda toothpaste she use.. mayb she duno wat is called brush teeth oso.

2ndly, her voice.. dun u find her voice very irritating n worse than la carlotta's singing?? some of u mayb know that i always say roze nn's voice very irritating n hak yan chang but seriously, khye yin compare to roze nn.. u all know whos the angel n whos the devil la rite??

3rd of all, i duno wat to say d... i forgot.... besides who want to remember her???


conclusion is ooi khye yin is the most yong sui n the worst person i ever met in my whole life.. if u got read bout the truth bout chai lit how.. ben mentioned that i hav a great ego n a low life, but to khye yin she got no maruah, no life n she fail herself as a human.......



by your merciless writer, bird

Lets discuss about Lit How's Love life!!! its crap... dont waste ur time..

wait lemme ask lit how's permission whether he allows me to write this.... >.<... still waiting... well there was no reply so i guessed he meant yess (eventhough he din allow me i'll still write it anyway).

Lit how(i'm just gonna call him bird) is a short and small boy that has an age of 14 but a mind of 40 a body like 4 and a sense of humour like 41.... so if your mind is so old but body so young what do you get???? you'll get Chai Lit How.... you know what i mean??? ok its crap but its true.

So bird here with a overly mature mind have always wanted 1 thing that every guy age 30 (exeptional for gays) above wants is...no its not what u think..... ok its what u think yess... that is girl or girls or women or womens regardless of age.. but not to old or young.. shape.. but not to out of shape.. face.. but not to ugly.. and gender.. wth its oni girls he wants.. so this is where it started the chronicles of Lit hows love life....

When he came to SMK taman sea, he started steady with a girl named i don't know( i forgotten the name actually i think her sirname was Goh or something) then he broke up wif her to only find another person named.... drum roll please............ "JEANNE". I know its shockingly shocking for a white boy to choose a darked skin women so dont be jealous, but when they join together it will be neutral color you get what i mean. Their relationship was steady and it last for 5 month UNTIL february of 2008.........

It was the saddest moment of his life when JEANNE broke up wif Lit How only to date danush and then Sharu Khan AND FINALLY BADAWI ( dont believe me?? check wikipedia or anything see who is badawi's wife....) birds heart was broken.. torn and shattered. like a piece of glass broken in err.. 100 pieces den broken another 100pieces finally broken 1000 pieces.

But thanks to my motivation... bird got courageous and dated his other best friend's (chun san) girl... Chin Wai Loan... Chun San was outrage, sad and happy. OUTRAGE for bird stealing his gf, SAD for his bestfriends bad deed, HAPPY for his bestfriend to find a gf. all this mixed emotion almost made chun san mad and insane and he was warded at Hospital Bahagia. This caused Bird to break up wif wai loan because he wanted to help chun san.

This was when Bird almost gaved up, lost hope and was in despair when..... he saw a silver lining in the dark dark even darker den dark clouds. the girl he dated next was as we all know.... JESSLYN.... He was happy, overjoyed, and estatic he found a girl just his size, his humour and his mind. So when school ended in Nov 2008, he missed her, so he confessed he missed her to the whole wide world. this was when i had to help him so i wrote this chronicles of lit hows love life. I noe its crap to you all... but who cares and its true.... i hope lit how will lead a good life wif his future wife, Jesslyn or it could be some1 from amsterdam i wont know only time will tell.

Anyway no offence to chun san, wai loan, jeanne, sharu khan, badawi, and the girl named I DONT KNOW. I hope Lit how will enjoy this story so will you. Thank You.

P.s: this is a true story... pls leave coment.... even though its crap.

By the crappy writer, BEN

Khye Yin SUCKSSS part 4. = )

Haizz How can i forget about you lit how.... Anyway..... That !%@#ing Bitch can be world no.1 beggar?? i dont think so .... Worl no.1 beggar from the last more likely lah..... She wan be kai... i think everyone rather listen to pn Santhi talk for 10 hrs (ok i think i am exagerating ) ok 9 hrs or even watch 10hrs of barney (thats more likely) den see her face right?!?!



My point is, since we all think she is such a sucker and loser den we should include her in our gossip section!!!!!! so let the gossip section begin (i noe its kinda dramatic and emo)....



1st of all lets start with the part where she is a mafan por... i mean she is so mafan dat i somethimes feel like taking my dogs faeces and stuff it in her mouth, you know what i mean???? from what lit how told u in some post are the example of her mafaness....



2nd of all.... her STUPID face when she does not get what she wants look like she is constipated or smthing... for example:


<<<>
ok the 1 on top is so much nicer...... it will only look like her if we take out both eyes and the mouth.....


3rdly... i think daryl must be blind or his glasses is nightvision goggles that he likes That Bitch last time.... i rather jump down from the top of twin tower den coming close to her 10 meters.... but i dont blame him, he probably just following ashton kutcher in punk'd or idolises captain kirk's moto "to do what men have not done before".


anyway..... part 5 i will leave lit how to finish up for me....


From the guy who idolises barney(i'm joking), BEN

khye yin sucks part 3

eh ben, u forgot bout me..


that bitch got ask me to lend her money oso but duno y her face thicker... she go ask rm1500 fr me.. n ask from darryl oso.. if she wan money, go be kai la... since her name sound lik khye(kai).. but i tink ah she be kai(prost) everybdy oso rather b gay or find old lady....

she nvr bring money to sch ah, wan me to belanja eh.. she tink i can print money 1 meh?? then she say if jesslyn ask, i sure belanja 1.. not to say that i oni belanja jesslyn la but if a stranger ask me for money, i rather giv him evrything i got thn givin it to her.. giv ben's dog eat oso nvm.. i dun giv thn u knw her la.. so thick face, go ask from evrybdy.. i tink she got a bright future bein a beggar.. sure world no1 la..




bird

common 'chickens' around us

Common chickens u can find in malaysia?? not oni the kind that ben write but oso "othr" type of "chicken" which im goin to write bout.... but im goin to include chickens around us n mayb some fr china if u knw wat i mean..


1) chicken as in chicken hearted.. this chicken is the type of chicken which is a coward n im referin to humans.. they lik to run away fr troubles n scared of doin something n gets shocked by the smallest thing. u can get some example if u try n find them..

2) my fav type of chicken... female chicken.. they dun liv in sangkars or farms or forests but they work at nightclubs.. n mayb evrywhr.. the normal chickens e.g. lik wat ben wrote feed themselves wit wat they find, edible, n wat ppl givs them. however this chicken find food n wat they nid by havin pleasurable moments with their clients..(wtf i use the word clients for??) 1 guy mayb rm 200 or more.. thn they'l go look for another customer. if they're hrdworkin, mayb they'll b rich by now.. rich wit aids.. the best chickens lik tis are from the top 5 countries (i rate thm myslf, if ppl fr de country that i listed read tis, pls dun kill me)
1) netherlands: mostly from red light district n they're the best ever.. u knw europeans la.. crazy european $e%..........
2) england: mostly from london.. they do their adv evrywhr even the phone booths.. duno y r english ppl r stil so proud of it.. the oni thing i hate is their accent..
3) usa: mostly from the whole us.. they're jus lik normal chicken but hotter..
4)japan: mostly from japan la.. small body size n some r quite hot
5)korea: mostly from korea lor.. def unknwn cos i duno.. simply write 1



sudenli i feel lik im a miang guy writin tis.. but who cares?? its fun..






bird

reply to daryls goin on a holiday + posting lik mad

Daryls goin on a holiday to australia la...... wat u tink he can do thr?? all the !#$%^& lik shyt oni 1 lar.. go amsterdam the best la... n bout the souvenir.. i dun wan a bra, i wan..... nth.. australia got nth thats interesting to me.. yea, we'll talk bad bout him of course.. since he so yong sui n many stuff to talk bout.. no ofence daryl.. jus for fun.. lol..... talking ba stuff bout darryl is always the best thing to do in my whole life, duno y i cant find something better to do.. tis post is a crap rite?? nvm, who cares??


u all know when ben is posting daily n me weekly.. the amount is quite normal but wat happens when both of us is posting?? u all know la.. haven finish read the 1st 1, 2nd n 3rd publishd d.. i wonder wtf happen to darryl n jh?? 4 editors, 2 activ.. the othr two evryday stay toghtr at hotel.(if u know wat i mean)........ n no gals somemore but duno fr phg i can hear darryl n jh screaming lik havin se% n kena %!#$ damn hard... jus talkin crap, dun bother... eh wait, i think i know wat to talk bout darryl when he go australia..... heheh..


tis stpd post is by bird..

This is meaningful!!! althought its crap

its about malaysia..... no price for guessing which is which.. there is a translation below.


我并不是很清楚，我们马来西亚到底有多少种鸡。。。我们平常看到，听到的，就来来去去那几种
（一）山鸡-住在山里（会飞的）
（二）菜园鸡-肉感有弹性的
（三）肉鸡-kfc里面的鸡

（一）山鸡-什么都不懂的鸡。整个白痴样，天天住在山里面，世界变得怎样也不懂，只是盲目的跟。别人讲要选这个它就跟，选那个它也跟，人家叫他吃屎它也stupid到去吃

（二）菜园鸡-什么都知道！可是就是看过养它的主人，那过刀，宰了它的同类，结果主人给它吃大便，它也吃；叫他喝尿它也照喝。忍气吞声，刻苦耐劳，任劳任怨，就只盼望主人不要动刀动枪，一刀杀了它。唉！它也知道，外边有很多豺狼野兽，就算主人不杀它，它也会因主人从来不保护他们，从不修好坏了的鸡笼，而被其他动物吃掉！它就是这样，过了它的一生。它从来没想过跟同类一起团结起来，或许，它曾经想过，可是最终还是放弃，因为它深知 忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空；居人篱下的道理。

（三）肉鸡-成天住在笼子里，衣食无忧，裹着衣来伸手，饭来张口的生活。渐渐的，它连走路也不会了，只好依赖养鸡农天天喂食过活。它应该还以为鸡农是他爸，不会害它，它不知，总有一天他会被摆上桌，任人吃。单纯且笨笨的它就这样结束了一生。

我想马来西亚最普遍的鸡，就是这三种了！

A direct translation from above....

im not very sure how many types of chicken are there in malaysia...but the common ones are

(1)ayam hutan(which knows how to fly,no need to pay at the toll booths just fly over it then can redi..)
(2)ayam kampong(which taste great!)
(3)ayam daging(which contains a lots of fats,stay in a sangkar 1 ..)

(1)ayam hutan----stay in the hutan...whole day fly here fly there...no need to pay at the toll booth,just fly across....actually they are stupid..ppl say choose this,they choose this;ppl say choose that, they also listen.Ppl say "go jiak sai",they also go jiak sai...

(2)ayam kampong----stay in the farm...run veri fast...got experience,if you take out a knife in front of them they'll run for their life...(coz they know you want to kill them)...they're all smarties pants...They know what is happening and they know if you are LYING...(dun believe?go to them and say "i love you,dear chicken.I wont kill you...come here,chickie,let me hug you.."see whether they run or not?!)

(3)ayam daging----whole day eat and sleep,eat and sleep....they have no idea whats happening....they whole day stay in the cage...thinking that the cage is a safe place...wont get any harm...they think that the ppl who feed them are good guys...(I dun think they can still remember how to walk....)then until one day, they're sold and abt to say byebye to the world oni they realize how stupid are they were in their WHOLE LIFE....

these are the common chickens i can find in malaysia....

posted by: BEN

Daryl's Going on a holiday!!!

HAHAHA.... I cant wait till daryl goes on a holiday so me and lit how can talk some stuff about him....U know SOME stuff.... ehh hem.... hope he wont mind.... BUT OFCRSE HE WILL MIND but that time his on holiday and he wont know what we wright. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. anyway daryl, there is no nid to buy me a soveniour cause we know you're going to some place where the only sovemiour you can get is eh hem... u know what i mean. Anyway have fun, and in the mean time, i and lit how will just wait untill you're gone.

BY: BEN

good bus ( stupid bus part 2 )

if u all read the stupid bus thing, u guys must be wondering y i wrote good bus.. cos today the bus driver followed the normal route and the best part is when my enemy(primary sch) boarded the bus n the driver( hes the driver n te conductor) asks him to pay rm1.80 but other passengers paid rm1.40 for two person... i love that guy...


bird.

Pictures!!!

This is some pictures i took in Europe hope u like it.... and mind the faces....

THE EIFEL TOWER in Paris

Me and my family

Whats so great about the mona lisa???

Infront of the louvre the glass pyramid.

Those who read or watch the Da Vinci code,

its not real because underneath this is a car park.

Ah the Alps... So cold....

AMSTERDAM... Lit Hows dream city...

too bad its illegal to take photo of the red light district.

Whats my dog doing here?!?!?

A traditional windmill in holland!!

St. Paul cathedral.... i am not sure whats inside though....

Which is the Big Ben!!!!

OMG I'M WIF JAY-LO

OMG BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE......(fainting)

ARGHH... HITLER RUN!!!!

Hmmm...Whats this... i also dont noe

Fancy a cuckoo clock anyone???

This is the London tower bridge.

The london brindge is another bridge which is so ugly

Platform 9 and 3 quarters?????

The London Eye near river thames..

LOL!?!?

Pic by: BEN

Kye Yin sucks continue..... or part 2

Lit How u missed smthing so i added some here

Btw u forgot another victim....Me(ben): 1st of all the pencil box thing not only u kena i also. Do you know she sms me to get her pencil box cause it was school holiday. that time i so kind hearted and my hse so near so i help her lah.... den ofcrse class room lock. so i told her class room lock. she den ask me to find the guard to open the door. but HAHA he wasn't there. but THAT BITCH ASK ME TO WAIT FOR HIM TO COME BACK WTF!!! AND I WHEN I TOLD HER CANT SHE ASK ME TO GO TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY TO GET HER DAMN PENCIL BOX.

not only that... SHE SO THICK-FACE TO ASK ME TO LEND HER RM600 TO HER TO BUY HER DAMN PHONE........................ I RATHER GIVE IT TO MY DOG TO EAT!!!

she also make daryl another victim but thats another story.

p.s. i have 5 words for u..... GO AND BOIL YOUR HEAD YOU $^%^ing BITCH.... actually that last 2 words are extra spices.--- from BEN

pss: if u want to understand this more clearly go read the part 1 of kye yin sucks

dedicated to Lit How aka Bird

The More I Study,

The More I Learn.

The More I Learn,

The More I Forget.

The More I Forget,

The Less I Learn.

SO WHY STUDY????

you can use this excuse when ppl wants u to study...

BEN

MY LONG AND BORING STORY. (read at your own risk)

This is my long and boring story. i dont know why am i writing this but this is what lit how wants.....

Well i arrived at airport KLIA at 6pm last friday as i was going to paris that night. Do i have to talk about this crap about boarding a 13hr flight and stuff???? lets just skip this crap. Anyway i din sleep in the plane at night and when i reached there it was 4am in the morning...

So after a long and boring flight i arrived at paris airport. This is boring so i am gonna skip this part to... ok 1st place i visit... guess??? nth big... just the EIFFEL TOWER. What i learn there was never underestimate the weather in europe. It was sunny atfirst and then when i went up there it was windy and SOO COLD... but it was fun. Then we had a tour in paris... there was this couple luggage LV(louis vuitton) bag LV, wallet LV, hand carry LV... went to Lafayette( biggest mall in france) also bought LV... france is an expensive shopping heaven but to me... all i did was wait for my sis and mum to shop. Anyway every1 shopped until it was 8pm and i was dead tired after the long flight so went back to hotel and slept like a pig. O btw french wine is damn nice.

The Next day (day 2) drove all the way to Switzerland 600++km so whole day in the bus... no nid to talk bout it.

The third day was more fun.. we went up the Alps and it was snowing... to bad i didn't ski (not that i would know or even dare to ski) but it was quite fun playing snowball fight. So in the afternoon went down the mountain to eat lunch and also did more shopping.... but this time at least bought some clothes and tonnes of chocolate, anyone wants some????

The fourth day was some driving to reach Germany.. saw the black forest but was not black... ate some blackforest cake with German beer and went to a cuckoo clock shop to see how they make it. after that we had lunch. THIS WAS WHAT WE HAD FOR LUNCH... 1 person 1

its much bigger in real life but it gives u the idea how big is it. Than we went to a lake of mount titici. wasn't really great but have a nice scenery. By evening we arrived at Frankfurt.

now this day we're going to AMSTERDAM!!! well thx to Lit How or BIRD i am now like some miang guy going there. ANYWAY do you noe Amsterdam is lit how's dream country... so in Amsterdam 1st thing we did was take a cruise to around the canals of Amsterdam. Den had lunch. in Amsterdam they are allowed to smoke weed and marijuana... actually not allowed but tolerated. i know u all be wondering where is the imfamous red light district, well i am gonna tell you now so be excited...=.=. after dinner we went to the red light district, a sanctuary to CHAI LIT HOW. its special in some way as we walked into the place there was sex shop where they sell all the funny sex gadget shape like a pennis and peep hole where you can see strippers dancing. Also there were prostitude where u can see everywhere. there were porn dvds everywhere statues and stuff. ok thats it no more amsterdam. well to bad i wasn't allowed to buy a bra for lit how... and it was illegal to take pictures there so u can see tourist taking photo through the bags or pockets even inside shirts.. etc

day 6, still in holland went to buy some cheese and clogs(wooden shoes). then headed to brussels in belgium. sat in the bus for another 4 hrs and finally arrived. saw the statue of a boy pissing... forgot what is it called but was vry famous, bought summore chocolate den went back hotel to sleep.

Day 7 sat on the eurostar to London England. 2 hr journey. arrived in london and went to st. Paul cathedral took some pic and went to marks and spencer which have 1 day only 20% SALES... so buy like crazy.

Day 8 last day of my tour went to madam tussads took lots of pic with celebs (wax of course) and shop more.

Day 9, i am on my own( with my mum and sis also) went to the eye of london and BIG BEN. shop even more and went china town... which is only 2 streets nth much.

Day 10, My last day in europe. went to the science musseum but half of it is closed for renovation, den went to the national history musseum cause free admision. did summore shopping den went home. Btw i used the london tube in this 4 days more den i use LRT in malaysia in a lifetime. den atnight went to heathrow airport to catch a flight back to malaysia. in the airport shopped summore...

so thats the end of my long and boring story. i am sorry if u read all of this.

PS: who wants chocolate i got tonnes!!!

BEN

Whats happening?????

Well... i came back yesterday and as i was so tired i din bother to do anything however..... when i check my blog i din noe what to say.... 1st of all.... MAN VS WILD.... is that jian han???? secondly, lit how is bald and misses jesslyn.... so weird right.... and my whole blog is white and it suppose to be green and i have 343 emails and so many things to say i dont know where to start. ANY IDEAS????

BEN

FINALLY HOME!!!!!

I just came back from my trip from europe.... 2moro i will start blogging d

BEN

stupid bus

I'm at my hometown now and survivor series( a wwe ppv) was held yesterday so i went to buy the cd today.. normally the bus will go down th street and then come back up again but today the !#$%^&* bus went down the street and nvr came bck up the street.. i wanted to sue the bus company and maybe i can get some money cos i waited for 3 !#$%^&* hours n the bus nvr show up.. i duno y i wrote tis but at least i felt better.

P.S. when ur at my hometown(raub,pahang) dun take the bus.... it sucks..


by, bird

Back from camp!!!!!!!!!!

Yay i was back from year end camp yesterday (in kampung air panas, kerling, ulu selangor). it was so fun!!!

Day 1

we met in de field near ah ben house n every1 was like so excited n de but late 4 like 10 min n den we all put de stuff inside de bus den we depart. i din noe ulu selangor so far leh take 2 hour reach dere o.0 den we reach we unload n de uncle go off den we hav 2 carry de stuff 2 our campsite. lucky not so far leh, bout like 200m oni. den we pitch tent den we hav flag break (marcus n i almost pengsan of hunger) den we eat. eat already den hoi gong again clean campsite n find firewood n stuff. den at night my patrol cook chicken burger den i ate my meal wif grass so yummy :) den after we hav song n games n loser of de jackpot game must do helicpoter spin i hav 2 do 2 times den so giddy. after dat we hav obh every1 was like so near each other but we duno n all so scared n after 1 hour dey bring us back n all sleep

Day 2

we woke up at 7.00 n brush teeth every1 was like zombie den i eat de toothpaste after brushing teeth so i dun pollute de river de river water dam cold in morning den after we all eat breakfast (i 4got liao ask sabrina my pl) den we chenge into full u n hav flag break n morning inspection (haizz..). sir alwin inspect marcus n my tent. he found so many mistake until we kena 90 push up. we do 30 1st oso like half dead liao den after we go first aid wif sir kwee keat he taught us a new way of bandaging arm so cool sheng khai was my partner but dunno y marcus so unlucky he partner wif kean ping (next time call him lkp his name so sian 2 type liao) den after dat we hav rope throwing wif sir cheng keat he throw rope dam pro, even wif right hand ( he is left handed) n all girl throw 1st den dey go cook lunch. after all us boyz throw liao we oso go cook. my food qm's parents came n dey helped us cook our lunch which is fried rice so yummy leh. den dunno y must rain at dis time den water rugby was canceled. me, marcus, ritchie n yujing help 2 waterproof tents n wei yao, newton n bird bird (eugene) go find firewood. after we finish so freezing liao we go de hot spring so nice and de algae inside oso yum yum. after dat all of us hav cooking competition. we cook garlic fish, soy sauce chicken (with miss hui xian's help) n sumthing i 4got liao. yenlin patrol cook tomyam so nice n no ppl help dem n dey win de contest. after dat dey all go survivor night as 4 me i 4got change my pants b4 going hot spring n therefore i no long pants so i stay at hq 2 help scouter chop wood den sir alwin taught me a cool way 2 start fire after dat every1 came back n all oi oi

Day 3

2day was day 3 after brush teeth n eat breakfast we hav moring inspection n flag break lucky dis time no push up 2 do. den we hav river hiking n kerwiin already sick but dunno y he still wan come almost pengsan coz water so cold. den while senior go waterfall, we juniors try throw de rope over a bamboo dunno y lkp can throw maybe bcoz of fat on de body. den after we go back eat lunch we hav semaphore. thanks 2 all of us (n a bit of cheating :))we were 1 of de 1st patrol 2 finish our conversation via semaphore. den we hav team building. each patrol take 1 small piece of bamboo n 1 bunch of rafia 2 make a structure. my patrol all form 1 den dey ask me do. i taught den 2 split bamboo den i tied de structure. i called him frankie. each patrol's structures were 2 compete later on at night. den after a port luck dinner (our patrol cook sardine) we hav mk. zachary patrol do 1 weird song iz use troop song tune but very funny lyrics i 4got liao den our patrol do a script dat is about marcus ponteng ascout. after dat sir tuck loong go home den we al take out our structure. tallest structure is senior win. most simmetrical is sheng khai patrol win. den most durable is us. in de end, frankie go sam zong beng 4 supporting a carton of 12 litre bottles for 5 seconds. i am proud 2 say dat i made frankie. den during open talk, where every1 complain about de camp, we all oi oi. but suddenly heavy rain i sleep not even like 2 hours our tene flooded liao. we all run 2 hq n sit dere. i was dam cold. soon every1 came out from dey're tents (but dunno y lkp tent din flood) den every1 sleep dere. michelle n sabrina sleep on wei yao leg (dunno got chao sui or not) n marcus sleep wif gabriel. i stood dere listening 2 senior sing hot 30 hitz de i sat in sir yee en chair when he go hot spring. i fell down from de chair a few times. den i woke up n iz still so dark. jack say he wanna pee den sir yee en tell him 2 shoot down from de bridge he really go do. haizz za dou man.

Day 4

it was still raining but stop about 9.00 am. morning inspection, flag break n water rugby tournament was canceled. our patrol din cook breakfast 2day coz every1 feel liky shiting. den when rain stop we go keep our tent. den de apple ladies ( sze ting n shannen) come around n ask every1 take a few apple coz dey cant finish. funily enough, after i n sabrina eat apple, we dun feel like shitting anymore. after packing everything, we were told 2 put our bags in hq n clean de place, as usual, lkp lazed around n got scolding from every1. den all de leftover food were cooked n every1 help eat. den we take all de stuff out 2 de bus n go home. in de bus jia yee phone got happy tree frens so every1 sleep in de bus den i watching alone so fun man de head roling all over de place. de when we got 2 skool, dunno y sir tuck loong n de bus uncle argue like mad (sumthing 2 do wif money) den i called my dad n he came 5 mins later n sir tuck loong ask me take back 1 tent n 4 fly sheet. dats de end of my camp story. of u find itz boring or lo so, plz lemme know.

by,

Man vs Wild

$mi|3

smile to old people means sayang

smile to children means kasih

smile to lover/ person u lik means cinta

smile in front of com means crazy
if u're smiling means ur crazy..

adapted from, reader's constipation

results

better in flirting: jeshua: 10
han xiang: 12
ur bf: 1
others: 3

the winner is han xiang!

so later im goin to write who he flirts with and how.. no offence han xiang.

khye yin suck

Ooi Khye Yin,



-the bitch

- the ma fan po

- the irritating bitch

- the !@#@$%^a and bla bla bla



we all xperienced 1 same thing, 1) the slavery

i use the word slavery cos tat bitch likes to order you to do something for her and she never helps you if you ask her to do something. even asking her to pick up a pen.

so, i interviewed a few ppl that experinced that and now im going to write about it. khye yin, if you're reading tis, be sorry.....



1) victim: me

what happen: she asked me to help her go to school and find her pencil box. if she just tell me

where she left it, i can help her cos i going to school. but the prob is she asked

me to find it in the class and if dun hav go and find at other class. how many

class are there in smk taman sea? then i say no, she asked ben(c.e.) to find. after

found it, wait at some tuition class then ask the key from the guard. if he's a

normal guy, he will say no and he is a normal guy. so her sis helped hertake. this

is an example of a person who had no shame and liks to ask other ppl 4 hlp.



2) victim: p/c

what happen: you all know that ky stole the class money which is kept in roze nn's file rite?

after stealing it, she go sms me(bird) for advice and she go

tell me bout the stupid story of the random girl. and she wanted to create

an excuse (roze nn, if u read this go kill her) excuse: she found the money in

her bag but she had no idea why the money is there. then she say the xcuse wont work. so she created another story that she say wai loan planned all that. wai loan teach her to steal and everything. other info pls refer to the older posts ( the truth)..



3) victim wai loan
wat happen: she cheat in her moral exam and when pn.yeo, she denies it. she also told her mom that wai loan teached her to cheat in the exam then pretend nth happened. wai loan trusted her and believes in her but this how she repays her????


i dun wana write anymore.. the conclusion is khye yin likes to ask ppl to help her like shes o.k.u. shes a liar. she even betrays her best fren. so dun go near her..
p.s. i was told that ky was moving sch but im not sure whether its true anot..

by, bird

im bald.................

very yong sui rite???

p.s. check out the ninja behind me.. he's my brainless monkey cousin...

by, bird

favourite idol

barney

michael jordan

van diesel

tiger woods

danial radcliffe

brad pitt

david beckham

cristiano ronaldo

angelina jolie

Vote for your favourite now..




by, bird

barney

BARNEY.. Kids love it... BUT I DUN!!!! So at science lab, i saw a song.. Its about barney and i decided to post it..

I love you,

You love me,

Lets all team up kill barney,

With a big gun and barney on the floor,

There is no more purple dinosaur.

i wanted to try kill barney too... if kids wan a good kids show, happy tree friends is the choice...

by, bird

loving couple

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

marcus moron

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

cute puppies

by, bird

naruto

here are some pics of naruto.. i wanted to add more but too many d.. so enough la..

by,bird