PLEASE READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This blog is not meant to be taken so seriously because we don't want to create trouble. If you think our post have somthing too sensitive pls let us know so we can discuss whether anot to remove it or we wont realise it. None of this is false unless stated(eg: rumours or example) or miss interpreted. Remember, the things posted here is for our readers interest and entertainment and not to condemn other ppl. Finally if you want to help out by writing in this blog pls let us know provided we must know you well under consideration. Thank you.

By: Ben and Lit How

Friday, December 26, 2008

2009 classes...

OK so i went to school to check the class for next year.... this is what i know...


3 cempaka:

  • Benjamin ( me )
  • Daryl louis
  • Kong Chee Seng
  • Justin
  • Jeshantaran
  • Jason
  • David smthing
  • Nicholos... dunno which
  • Danush
  • Han Xiang
  • Nigel Ting
  • Mahesh
  • Carmen
  • Yin Ling
  • Roze Nn
  • I forgot the rest

3 Bunga Raya:

  • Hui Chun San
  • Taufu Boy
  • Danial
  • i dunno d

3 Angsana:

  • Loh tze Heng
  • Tjen Yao
  • Si Rou
  • Jesslyn
  • I rilli dunno

other classes:

3 Mawar: Chai Lit How

3 Lili: Choong Jian han... So sad....

If you really wanna know whats ur class.... ask me but i charge RM 0.50 per person... ok if you really wanna noe whitout spending money... go look at the board yourself... ty..

Ok lah... i took some pic of 3a, 3br and 3 c so if you wan noe jus call me or write in comment... i can't post the pic cause 2 blur... maybe i'll try other class u'll nid 2 check yourself...

By: Ben

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The modern version of Santa Claus comix...

This post is about the modern version of santa claus and why he doesn't give us any present now.........



This story is about Santa..... as we all know, Santa is a great person with a great heart who gives out gifts and eats cookies and drink milk every christmas............. this is santa in ur imagination.... however.... the story i am gonna say is santa being bad.... well santa has 2 work for fed ex for the other 364 days or he won't get paid...........





  • well the story starts at santa's home on december 2008...







  • Santa's wife jus filed a divorce with him causing him to loose millions of north pole dollars....... this was because he had a secret gf.........





  • well 2 gf's actually........ but we all know what kind of gf they are......... prostitudes looking for rich guys or girls money....... well santa had his fun cause he had 200 billion us dollar... his wife took 100 billion, 1 gf took 60 bil, the other took 35 bil, and i took 5 bil......... so santa was broke now....







  • so to drown his sorrows, he took his kancil to the pub to drink until he got drunk until he got diabetes..........




  • While santa claus was lying down really drunk drinking whisky, xo, beer, and different types of alcohol.... a reporter snapped a photo of him half naked and posted it on the internet... at flickr.com...

  • when santa saw the reporter... he poited his middle finger towards the reporter who snap another photo and posted it in the internet.....

  • Santa started recieving alot of hate mails from children age 1 - 99.... maybe 1000.... Santa's work was in jeapordy....

  • Then 1 day... actually is the next day... santa recieved a phone call while driving his Proton Saga. well there was 2 phone calls actually... 1 was from a porn studio who asked him if he was interested in making porn for a living... however he had to loose 100kg so he declined... the next phone call was from Fed Ex telling him he was fired... the third phone call was from me to give me a playstation 3...

  • Everything that day was bad news... his beloved reindeer rudolf got run over by a truck driven by a 3 yr old cause he did not get his psp from santa...

  • Even worse was a giant fireball of middle fingger appeared out of the sky...... and burned his house with all his "chicken" in it...

  • He also got kicked out of north pole's national basketball team cause he was way 2 faat.... so they recruited my dog to play.....


  • Santa claus was soooo angry when he snapped... no not his body broken in 2... his mind snapped... he was turning evil like lord voldemort in Harry Potter except harry potter's not real and santa's real....



  • He then went to every children's house and instead of giving presents... he stole them... he stole all of them and drove it back in his scooter to his treehouse..... MUAHAHAHAHA... no more presents for the kids....



  • He then kidnapped this pretty lady in the picture to his treehouse and raped her until i dunno what... but he did not use a condom so the girl kena aids and died.... WHAT??? u think that girl got aids??? NO!!! santa's the 1 with aids....



  • The head of the police was soooo angry because his daughter was kidnapped by santa that he offered 15 grands as a bounty prize to anyone that caught santa.....



  • Eventually... Santa got caught because his house was full of brightnose reindeers... santa tried to bribe the police by giving them stolen gifts that was stolen from the children who obtain it by stealing from stolen items that were stolen... so the police took it but the bribe did not work and he was still caught...



  • Santa however strugled to get free but as he was standing at the window edge... he fell down... and all u can see was a red baloon and a squishing sound.....



  • Santa was dead....



  • However.. a memory of his good side was still in child's books because the US government hushed up Santa's death so that all the little kids won't be an ass like santa....



THE END


Story by Santa Claws, BEN
Picture by Planta Clause, Bird
Written by Santa Claws, Ben
Posted by Santa Claws, Ben
Ideas by Santa Claws, Ben
Everything by Santa Claws, BEN

Monday, December 22, 2008

haha.. how about.......................

ben! u're back.. good la cos i almost die of boredom.. evryday chat n post oso all crap.. ppl thats online all i dun know wat to talk bout with them... xcpt for some of u la.. actually the 1 i talk to is two girls only.. one is my sis... haizzzz so boring u know... eh if i ask them to give them their virginity(dun tink they're virgin) or ask them to come sleep with me can ah??? really wana try leh... i wonder wat if they say "wait at somewhere" or "ok.. just a sec".... waaaaaaa then i really really going to thanks ben d.. hahahahahhahahahhahahhaha... best holiday ever d... :D ok.. im talking like a miang guy rite??? haiz... but who cares???????? its fun cos i jus found a topic.. i read my previous posts.. haizzz all damn boring man... but again.. who cares????? so ah... pls comment on the barney thing.. oh yea btw i got one announcement... christmas comic/story: the chronicles of santa claus..... haha... going to be posted on 25h dec 2008 12am or maybe 12.01 or 1159.. but i'll make sure at 12am la.. ok thats all..its merry christmas.. not merry xxx-mas ben.. dun b so damn sick ok???

Merry christmas.......






y dun hav the by,bird thing 1?? cos... u read again the top thr.. ben say i sound lik wana xxx with my sis n the othr girl but actually i mean the air hostesses.. haha...




ok now got d:

by, bird

Yay!!! i am back....

So this title practically said everything... well not everything though.. but kind of everythingish to explain... but there is still things to say. i don't think nobody misses me much unless i buy them present... maybe lit how kinda misses me, i don't really know...

nothing much happens in singapore unless you wanna know the amount i spend at singapore... well ok, somebody gave me 1000 sing dollar (rm2400) i brought 500 sg dollar and came back with 87 sg dollar... so do the math on how much i spend.. unless your to stupid... well i spent 413 sing or RM1000.... so sad...... my quota for next year's shopping is finish..... ok lah if u want to know what i spend it on i'll tell you.... shoe: 100 sg, 2 shirt: 60+ 40, food: 70 sg, pants: 70, christmas present but not for u: 70 sg. haizz....

so in 5 days of singapore... 2 day shopping 12 hr++ per day, watched 3 movie (bolt, twilight, the day the earth stood still), play cards 5 hrs, eat 10 hrs... basically there is nothing to write about this thing... but because there is nothing to write so i have to write this nth to write post.....

o ya... the comment in the chatbox by me was written in changi airport's malaysian lounge's com... everybody there was like doing buisness and i was checking blog so kinda malu lah....

o btw... lit how, malaysian airline buisness class air hostess i think quite suitable for you.. cause u ask them do what they do what... dun think sick lah.. for me i ask them for a pillow, they giv, i ask them for drinks they give... so lit how i think u can ask them to go your house and they will go.....

p.s: i am not sick..... merry xxx-mas

p.s.s: you wanna know where did the 3 sg dollar went???? well.. i lost it....

by Santa Claws: BEN....

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Barney Comic

So...... I dont know why but I'm quite addicted to barney right now so ah.. This is a Barney comic and I got the images from all the search engines I can find and walaaaaa I created a comic by just copying and pasting them in together.. Haha.. Enjoy!

1) Barney and friends are in their Christmas and holiday mood so they decided to go for a vacation somewhere.





2) Then barney says lets go to Jurassic Park! I'm sure the dinosaurs there are friendly too. I'm a t-rex so they can be best friends with us! So, barney went to see a travel agent but unfortunately, he's crazy.


3) Later that day, Barney and his friends began their journey by walking at the roadside playing music................




4) They were tired so Barney stayed at a hotel nearby but he was bored so he called some girls up to his room while his friends were at the casino.




5) When Barney reliased he got AIDS, he decided to go to jurassic park immediately but he finds his friends gone mad at the casino and three security guards were watching them.



6) The next day, they arrived at Jurassic Park. Barney was very sure because he thought the sign board said Jurassic Park.

7) Then they bought a ticket for 3000 people for the three of them. For no reason.... Then Barney's gay friend appeared!!!



8) Then Barney and the gay T-rex kissed and the T-rex left. They went in and just to find a few other carnivorous creatures. Barney's friends realised they were in danger and left the park and Barney was alone. He thought they were friendly and try to xxx with them. But in the end.......

Barney was given the Happy Tree Friends friendly guest welcome.


9) His friends went back a few day and saw Barney's dead body. They were shocked to see Barney had shrunk into a really really small dinosaur. They had no choice but to bury him.. Unfortunately, they made a mistake when they were measuring his body for the coffin and something like that. So in the end, Barney was buried like this.......






THE END........ SAD STORY......


Ok.. Thats all.... Please comment...


All rights reserved.
Story by bird
Images by bird
Idea given by bird
Written by bird
Done by bird
Directed by bird
Produced by bird
BIRD!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

most disgusting thing

Dont read if you're having dinner or eating. Contains "adult" material.
Rated 'R'= RESTRICTED







Do u guys know wat is disgusting? Its not like that bug is disgusting but maybe when u saw people like jian han then u can say disgusting. But this time its bout chicken, dead, raw and going to be cooked. Ya'll definitely ate chicken before i dont think that any of you got try to prepare/clean the chicken.. Not cook it but like taking out all the parts that cannot be eaten and stuff like that la. As u all know im at my hometown,pahang.. So sometimes i go help my aunt at her shop. Today me n my cousin helped prepare 30chickens which is not cooked yet.. Took us 2hours to finish and then we oso smell like chicken(dont think sick).. 1st we take out all the feathers and the stuff outside using a thing which i also dont know wat is it? All the feathers stick on our hand and some on the shirt.. Some must use hand cos easier and faster but even dirtier. Don't care.. Must continue anyway.. Ok ok heres the worst part of it, then we cut a hole at the end(butt), we put our hands in like what you do when you prepare turkey with stuff inside.. We tear off the fats from the skin and some are stuck inside my nails. its smelly and soft, kinda fun also.. Then take the organs out like the heart, lungs, kidney and the worst one is intestine... When you take out, its very long and slimy and red yellowish/yellowish red and very disgusting when u're too free n cut it into half to see wats inside the intestine.. Trust me, u dun wanna know.. Ok, the heart is like a piece of small, soft and slimy red thing and if u wanna try doing what im doing, don't ever ever squeeze it.. All the blood just....... Just dun try la.. Lungs and kidney nothing much.. And i dunno where my cousin squeeze and something like yellow slimy thing came out like pee but slimier.. P.S. he squeeze at someplace at the butt there. Last thing is wash all the stuff away from, the body but when pouring the water out of the chicken dead body, white water become red water with extra ingredients........... But anyway Its so damn fun although A BIT DISGUSTING olny.. For me la... So when you eat chicken, think bout this and i dont think you ever wanted to read this post again.. I wonder whaat will happen if i took pics and upload it?? Sure this blog will get 2009 blogger awards: most disgusting blog but i dont think got this award so maybe im going to create it after 101010011273467484387 days. You can do a countdown if you want.. Dont really care then you can remind me right? If i didnt help my aunt today, i oso dunno wat else to post d and maybe another crap like the previous two.. Ok la, thats all.... When ben comes back i see whether he got buy dog biscuit anot.


by, bird

Friday, December 19, 2008

Singapored

ben.. y must u leave me?????? u made me alone posting here and nobody chat with me when nobody is online.. although there is someone but i dont talk to them la.. you better post something n chat with me for 12 hours when u're back if not u die.. trust me, u will die.. y i wrote this post if i dont know wat to write? cos this blog must be updated daily so jus post crap la.. who cares nice or not? but at least write longer la.. oh yea btw the answer of chun san n wai loan's last few children that is named with foul language.. the answer is they were arguing and vivian jr. is the thingy la... u know.. but no one guess or add comment oso so dun care la... ermmmmmmm y mostly me n ben post 1??? where the hell is darryl n jian han?? damn! if u guys r reading this, pls post something.. crap lik this la.. nvm 1.. so ah.................... say something at the cbox, write comment, participate in the christmas specials... it wont cost u anyting... nth at all.. well maybe a few minutes but not hours so just pls say something, comment and participate.. thank you..


p.s. the whole post is totally crap


p.s.s. if u're reading the p.s.s means the post is not that crap like i think,...



by, planta claus bird..... merry christmas bla bla bla

Thursday, December 18, 2008

ben is gone

today at 4am ben woke up early in the morning to get ready before he leave for singapore.. *boring place*.. amsterdam much better.. i dont know y he go there but im sure there dont have any red light district or something like that.. so anyway last time he went to europe and i wanted a second-hand bra from red light district but sadly he didn got 1 for me.. maybe he got one for himself but i duno la.. i think he very stingy cos the second hand bra too nice and hes addicted to it d so this time go singapore i asked him to buy dog biscuit for me.. although i dont have a dog but if u read the previous post, dog biscuit tastes damn nice.. i think.. dont know whether he'll eat it hmself or give me this time.. u know him la.. look at his body size... :P y am i writing all these crap?? cos my brain dry d and i dun hav anymore idea wat to write bout.. if u guys wan me to write bout someone pls tell me.. ur identity will be kept anonymous.. dont worry.. anyway i dont know wat else to say so thats all for now.. and by the way, if u guys got listen to that wwe songs pls tell me ur fav.. some are seriously nice esp official wrestlemania24 theme song.. y i say bye d then suddenly so many things to say 1? ok wtv.. jus bye bye..



by, bird

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

wat happens when the two editors(cat n bird) talk to each other

i was chatting with ben then we're talking bout words. so i created a few words wana learn?
se too pid = stupid
ke ra ji= crazy
n thats for now.. then nxt thing is ben admited he ate dog biscuit before although i duno y a cat would dog biscuit. mayb cos cats likes biscuits but they dun sell cat biscuit thats y...

so this is the conv between us although it may seem easier to screenshot but its too long.
BEN :do u noe biscuit are quite tasty
BEN :i ate 1
<> :u eat b4?
<>:wtf
BEN :its nice...
<> :i jus got a new story
<> :wat brand?
BEN :??? i dunno the biscuit brand
<> :ur dog eat wat brand oso u duno 1 meh?
BEN :how i noe
BEN :its a 13 ringgit pack
<> :ok
<> :colour?
<> :taste like?
<> :buy whr?
BEN :i think it was eukanuba
BEN : i'm not really sure
BEN :could be pedigree also
BEN :colour whitish yellow
BEN :taste bit sweet
BEN :smells damn nice
BEN :shape like a bone
BEN :u shud try
BEN :its not food.. biscuit
<> :taste lik wat?
<> :meat?
BEN :biscuit lah
<> :oo
<> :ok
<> :how u feel when u eating it?
BEN :i duno like eating normal biscuit
BEN :my sis ask me go eat mah
BEN :den i eat lo
BEN :jus to see what its like to be a dog
BEN :noe i noe why my dog loves biscuit
<> :hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhhahahaha
<> :nxt time i go ur hse
<> :i wan try
BEN :actually quite hesitant at 1st
BEN :but den aiya
BEN :i so crazy
BEN :what oso must try
BEN :so eat lo
<> :i wan try wit u nxt time
<> :since im oso crazy
BEN : haha
BEN :ya
BEN :lets try
<> :whr u buy the biscuit?
BEN says:er... summer petshop in ss2.. u noe babyland? that row or bakers cottage opposite macdonald



so thats wat happens to a conversation between two crazy editorswhen they're too free.



P.S. the dog biscuit tastes really really good. cheap oso.. can save money


P.S.S feed ur dog human biscuit and u eat dog biscuit.



by, bird

OMG... i recieved a....

yesterday.... i recieved a parcel from my uncle..... and it is a dvd of "the gem of life" which on the cover have lum po yee's and Gigi Lai (thats the actors) and other actors signature... well i got 2 of them actually.... how cool is that.... haven't watch yet though... maybe when i come back.... Well how did i get it.... well should ask my uncle. ok lah... his company actually sponsered i don't know for those actors for them to where his jewelry's or maybe for them to come to malaysia wearing his jewelries... not very sure... but then he gets 5 tickets to sit down and watch them promote their new show.... well i din noe why he din bring me but he brought his 3 kids to watch who are so young that they din even noe who are they... can u imagine ho wasted those tickets are... i could have took a picture with them rite..... its so cool cause while other ppl are standing in a crowded screaming and shouting holding banners... they get to sit down eating dinner in the vip seating while watching them promote.... should have actually went but its too late... anyway atleast i got they autographs haha....

By santa Claws, BEN

Away for holiday again....

Ok, i'll be away from 2moro thats 18 dec to 22 dec cause flying to singapore.... yes lit how via Fei Kei Cheong... ya i'll sit on the Fei Kei..... don't worry, i wont blow up the fei kei.....maybe i still can post 1 or 2 things but not much lah.... so any problems call lit how... cause later u send sms to me ar.... vry expensive 1 u noe..... i know lah... you'll miss me but don't worry i'll be back.... o ya lit how.. i know if u read this u sure comment "who so free miss you." but when i say this oredi ar u sure reply "Good dog..." or maybe "i din want to say that." but who cares... its crap... so Merry christmas to you all... or Merry XXX-Mas.....


P.s: Please participate in the christmas special... o ya slap lit how if he say anything bad bout me...

p.s.s: Lit how don't comment what i said in the p.s. ok... and also the p.s.s... its crap anyway...


From Santa Claws, Ben....

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

another lame joke... well not that lame if u think its not....

OK here's another lame joke i got from the internet.... it's sounds kinda obscene but its definately not a sick joke... weird 1 though... here goes:

There was this guy named Mr. Marley swirly Pants he went to see a doctor complaining about a headache he has been having 5 years ago.... The doctor told him " i have some good news and some bad news, the bad news is... ur testicle is pressing against ur spine causing a massive headache." Swirly pants then replied " the whats ur good news???" " there's a cure for ur headache... thats surgically removing ur testicle away.." "THATS YOUR GOOD NEWS" "I never mention it was good news for you, only for me cause i am gonna sell it in petaling street for some money"...

So Swirly Pants have no choice but to remove his testicle.... it was a sad day for Swirly Pants. However, he had no more headache's and felt like a different man... so he decided to go out a buy himself some clothes and shoes to cheer him up...... so he went to a tailor.

After he chose the type of cloth he wanted... he asked the tailor to measure him.. The tailor said "Oh no Mr Marley, i am an experience tailor i can tell all your measurement without measuring u... ur waste is 36 inch, ur 194 cm in height." "how bout my feet size" said SwirlyPants "o its size 11" Shocked, swirly pants then said "thats very good, but i dont think u can guess my size of briefs" the tailor thinked for a while den said "you should wear briefs size XL" swirly pants then replied "HAHA, I've been wearing M size briefs since i was in high school... U're not that good as i thought u were... HAHA" The tailor smiled and said: " If you wore M size briefs, they would be tight and your testicle will be pressed against your spine causing you a massive headache!!!"

THE END... hope you enjoy it...

By, santa Claws, Ben

Monday, December 15, 2008

Lame jokes

1. There was 1 rich guy who hires 3 people, a malay guy, an indian guy and a chinese guy. He asked  malay guy go tap rubber. Then he ask the indian guy go chop wood. Lastly, he asked the chinese    guy to prepare SUPPLIES. Then he went of for a holiday. When he came back, he went to check    on his workers. The malay guy tapped a lot of rubber and had many buckets of latex so he praised that guy.  The indian guy also did a good job by cutting a lot of wood and was praised too. Then he went to find the chinese guy but couldn't find him. Suddenly, the chinese guy jumped in front of him and shouted, "SUPPLIES!".

2. Why does chinese people like to listen to techno music while studying?
    
     Answer: The beat of a techno song goes like this," dukshu dukshu dukshu dukshu........".

3. There were 3 football fans. 1 was a Manchester United fan, the other was a Liverpool fan and the last an Arsenal fan. They got lost in a jungle. While in the jungle, theywere in the jungle, they found a wild boar and killed it. Then, they went to share the wild boar. The Manchester United fan said he wanted the chest because his fav club is ManCHESTer United. The Liverpool fan wanted the liver cos LIVERpool is fav club. Lastly, the Arsenal fan said he doesn't want anything cos if he was to follow his fav club, ARSEnal, he will have to take the ARSE. 

4. a) Which mouse has two legs only?
         Answer: Mickey Mouse
     
     b) Which duck has two legs only?
         Answer: All ducks have two legs

5.  Chinese vs English

a) Dum Gai A stupid person
b) Gun Pao Der An ancient Chinese invention
c) Kum Hia Approach me
d) Lao Zi Not very good
e) Moon Lan Ding A great achievement of the american space program
f) Shai gai A bashful person
g) Ten Ding Ba Serving drinks to people
h) Wai So Dim Are you trying to save electricity
i) Wai U Shao Ting There is no reason to raise your voice
j) Tai Ne Po Ne A small horse

Posted by: darryl or dLdS

What Makes a Malaysian a Malaysian

1. You can name all the players from the the English Premier League, but ask you to name one football player from Malaysia , one name also cannot come out.


2. When StreamyX come, you complain StreamyX too slow. When Maxis Broadband come, you complain Maxis Broadband always disconnects. When WiMax come, you complain Wimax too expensive. In the end, you say StreamyX still the best lah.


3. When toll price increase, you complain. When petrol price increase, you complain. When you go Starbucks buy RM10 coffee, NO COMPLAINTS.


4. When you cannot find parking in a shopping mall and have to walk very far, you complain. When you go inside the shopping mall and there's SALE, run from one end of 1Utama to the other also NO COMPLAINTS.


5. You are always late. And the excuse you give when you're late is always either: (a) traffic jam (b) no transport or (c) cannot find parking.


6. You have a parent who force you to take science stream in high school, study engineering in Uni, then when you graduate, they ask you to forget everything you learnt in Uni and do commerce.


7. You know someone who can specially develop an angmoh accent when speaking to a American / British / Australian.


8. You complain against the government in kopitiam, you talk loud loud. Leave anonymous comments on blogs, you also talk loud loud. Attend ceremah by DAP, you shout loud loud. Then when Opposition organise a protest and ask you to go, you dun wan. Scared later kena tangkap by ISA.


9. Every year on the 30th April, you are one of the people below queueing up last minute to
submit your tax return at the IRB.


10. When you pay RM10 for something that costs RM1, you blame the Chinese.


11. When a government service is too slow, you blame the Malays.


12. When a building is not good and collapsed, you blame the Indians.


13. When a Chinese student won a scholarship, you say 'Wah! Very clever hor?'


14. When a Malay student won a scholarship, you say 'Aiya! Of course lah! He Malay mah!'


15. When an angmoh stranger kiss you on the cheek to say hello, you very happy. When a Malaysian guy kiss you on the cheek to say hello, you slap him.



by, bird

2 Cempaka 2008 Classic Secrets on Demand: Hui Chun San & Chin Wai Loan

This is the first 2 Cempaka 2008 Classic on Demand. Its all about the rumors and from January till now. Ok lets start now.

Hui Chun San and Chin Wai Loan is as told by ben in the "Litao love story" but its crap when he mentioned that Wai Loan became my gf... So their relationship started between April-May when Wai Loan says she doesn't likes Wai Phun so Chun San decided to make the first move and their relationship started steady. They got married in Nevada but not Vegas and then got 72 children, 34 boys and 38 girls. They name them: (every children with the same colour means twins)
1) angelina 2)brad 3)chris 4)jane 5)john 6)kiki 7)bob
8) chuck 9)larry 10)bing bing 11)vickie 12)michael
13) sam 14)fanny 15)mikel 16)terry 17)mark 18)william 19)winnie
20) dan 21)jack 22)jill 23)bill 24)mandy 25)nokia 26)samsung 27) ericsson
28) adidas 29)nike 30)puma 31)umbro 32)quicksilver 33)power 34)gucci 35)prada
36) honda 37)toyota 38)suzuki 39)yamaha 40)fujitsu 41)kia
42) washington 43)obama 44)clinton 45)bush 46)McCain 47)kerry
48) rooney 49)ferdinand 50)o'shea 51)brown 52)carlos 53)gerard 54)kewell
55) arnold 56)ben 57)robert 58)jamie 59)wesley 60)will 61)jessica 62)anne
63) rentap 64)mat saleh 65)charles vyner 66)charles 67) james
68) shit 69)fuck 70)damn 71)hell 72)vivian jr.


thats all their kids names. for your information, starting from their 25th child, they ran out of names so they keep naming their children depends on where Wai Loan gave birth.

20th-27th: normal names then the last 3 cos they'r at a phone shop.

28th-35th: they were at shenzhen buying cheap stuff

36th-41st: japan buying cars

42nd-47th: us presidential election

48th-54th: watching man utd vs liverpool at england

55th-62nd: hollywood

63th-67th: sarawak

68th-72nd: u guess urself........ maybe got prize for the fastest and most accurate answer. :D




then they were stressed, exhausted of raising these 72 children so they divorced and throw all their children back to where they were borned... poor kids.... :'( so thats all for this crap post.. of course its crap.. since when i post normal stuff???????? hahaz



by, bird

Sunday, December 14, 2008

updates on the christmas specials

well i think the prize of rm2 is like too little so i decided to increase it to RM5!!! woooooooo.... maybe you guys were hoping for vaio laptop, psp, ps3 or something exp but if u guys really want i advice u all to sleep and dream bout it!!! so anyway the prize now is rm5.. haha.. better than nothing rite? can buy a plate char kuay tiau, one coke, one fries, one packet of guava and still have 40sen left!!! nice rite? see how generous are the editors(actually only me n ben sponsor)... u go other blog dont have these stuff one... u know y? cos their blog normal, this blog crap but nice!!!! ok?? see? im suppose to write bout the updates then suddenly all these crap.. haiz but nice ma!! so anyway thats all la.. duno y i feel lik writing till die.. hahahahahahaha.... duno how many of u wan me to die la isit? so i die lor.. but not now... still got stuff to do.. (: haha.. ok thats all... start email us now and get ur words on our blog!!!!!!


by planta claus bird and santa claws ben

Can i have your attention please.... if ur reading this, yea i did get ur attention...

OK, to get you all to participate in the Christmas special... I and lit how will give you a prize to the winner wif the most interesting (funny, stupid, touching or angry also can) article or in your own words special.... the prize is ofcourse handed out in school.. starting of school of crse.... yea!!! and the prize are.............

SONY PSP, PLAYSTATION 3 AND A SONY VAIO LAPTOP... PINK OFCRSE... in ur dreams..... if u think i and lit how got the money to buy these stuff 4 prizes... think again... OK, even if we have, everyone will think i'm nuts......

Ok, the real prize are... fantastic prize... They ARE............ RM5.00 in a ang pow packet wif lit how and my signature on it... WOoOhooo!!! yea... Great isn't it.... ok fine i noe its not alot but u can buy 1 char keoy tiow or 2 cups of coke with it... You can even donate it back to us.... consolation price are... a hug from lit how..... jus kidding

So guys.... and girls... Please participate in our christmas special because i don't know why and its fun.... Thank You...

By, Santa Claws, Ben & Planta Claus, Lit How...
Written by, Santa Claws, Ben
Prize sponsered by, Maxis ( joking ), Daryl (still Joking), Ben & lit how ( not joking )

Saturday, December 13, 2008

13th December: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS ANGELA!




Happy birthday Miss Angela!!! i dont know what else to say so.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY :D

Friday, December 12, 2008

In your own words: Help & Instructions

LOL... I guess some of you still dont understand what is 'In Your Own Words' and how to participate yet. Its something you can participate and write down whatever you want. it is so damn simple, just follow the instructions:


1) Think of what you want to write and email it to the editors or just tell
2) If u can't think of anything, use our's as an example.
3) Make it cheerful and funny if u want.
4) Include extra details like: when you want it to be published, who you wrote that for and stuff like that
5) Anything is acceptable except foul language, insulting or something like that.
6) If you want it to be published at 25/12/2008, then it'll be published at 25/12/2008, 12am unless time is stated clearly.



please participate and give your friends and our readers a message and a warming christmas wish... MERRY CHRISTMAS.




by, PLANTA CLAUS BIRD
and SANTA CLAWS, BEN

in ur own words: litao/ lit how

name: lit how

nickname: bird, litao, miang guy, white guy......

things i cant live without: my life

if im a dog, wats my name: mujiku kukuburd

most embarassing thing i ever done: do nothing

worst moment of my life: family(including pets) die

best moment of my life: everyday with friends and family

dirty secret: *cant think of any that can be written here*

clean secret: *all secret exposed d*

idol: someone ordinary doing something extraordinary

ideal friend: all living things

how am i going to change the world: im going to blow up the whole earth so no one else can make a difference

craziest thing i ever done: jump down from 2nd floor on the sofa (u cant think that im lying, i dun care)

favourite song: nice songs

almost forgot, my ambition: anything that dont need studies and get paid well
e.g. wwe superstar- min $3000 a week for rookies
football player- min 200 pounds a week :O



y this 'in ur own words' lik bio 1 ah??? actuali u can write anything u wan lik christmas wish, anything u wan as long as its not dirty...so start participating now!!!



by, bird

In your own words : BEN

this is the starting of our christmas special..... and the first person is me....enjoy....

Name: Benjamin Choong Kai Hsien

Nickname: Benjamau

three things i couldn't live without:
  1. internet
  2. Television
  3. Food

Dirty little secret: I love to watch spongebob squarepants

My ambition: Politician, Buisnessman, Prime minister....

If I had a girls name what will it be?: zigle mimblebee

my fart smells like: Hui Chun San

If i had rm 50 what will i buy: something......

my fav superheroe: cat women????

name my imaginary band: Ben's bendable brocken back band.... i'm the lead guitarist....

My idol: Anyone rich and famous and powerful and rich

My ideal friend: Me

Something that will change the world: Me becoming PM of Malaysia....

Something else??: ok fine.... Aliens invading Malaysia.....

my most embarasing thing i ever done: walk into the girls toilet... wth did i say that for....

Whats the craziest thing i ever done: telling u all my most embarassing thing..

Favourite Song: barney is a dinasour..... and smthing that is sensitive issue... ask litao...

By santa Claws, BEN

Thursday, December 11, 2008

public apology

This is the first apology from the cookiemonster editors for writing something that offended one of our readers in the post (the truth bout the students in 2c: roze nn) if u read it now, its already been edited but the complains are still in the comments. so now i would like to apologize to roze nn( she complained ) and her friend, nick cos ben was being rude to both of them. roze nn is not happy with wat i wrote and wat ben replied to her so i edited it and now im saying sorry for everything that made you unhappy.



anything that makes u guys feel offended or doesnt like it pls tell the editor that it and we'll edit it..



by, bird

Misunderstandings......

There seem to be a misunderstanding between me and litao and i think u all. what i meant " i am gone" is i am not in malaysia but i can still blog ok....... so lit how, good news is u can still visit jesslyn without worrying bout me, and u dun hav to blog all by urself k.......

By santa Claws, BEN

happy lit how?????

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Merry Christmas

merry christmas to u all.. i dun care early or late but merry christmas.. if u read ben's post, u'll know bout the christmas specials so pls start email us now!!! n by the way, december specials has been canceled cos oni a few ppl lik it... n its kinda boring too... read our post n start emailing now!!! n ben, im not going anywhr cos ur goin to b gone so i'll hav to post stuff myself!!!! ok??? so becos of u i cant go anywhr.. understand?? if she reali invit me go her house i dun mind walking from pahang till thr.. so............. MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR AND ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAYS.....



by, planta claus bird.........

CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY SPECIAL!!!

YAY!!! ITS CHRISTMAS AND COOKIEMONSTER789 HAVE A SPECIALLY SPECIAL HOLIDAY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CURRENTLY I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS SO LOOK OUT FOR THAT SPECIALLY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!! but i can tell u smthing, there will be no prizes to be won, so those of u hu wants presents... ask lit how or YOUR PARENTS. o ya u oso can gimme presents or gift or money or smthing nice k cause i dont mind some. : ).

O Wait, i've just remembered, the specially specials are............

  • SHOUT ALL UR COMMENTS ANGER FUSTRATIONS IN THE SHOUTBOX ON 23 - 28 december.... nope we wont critisice u even if u write badthings about us.
  • TELL US WHAT TO WRITE AND WE'll WRITE IT DOWN FOR U, send it to lithow619@hotmail.com or ben13_genius@hotmail.com, if u want to remain anonymous pls tell us. or u can put anonymous be4 u even send it to us, we wont change anything unless contains something censored. we will post it at 22 december onwards till 1st of january.
  • a few special post where its so special i cant tell u wat it is.
  • "IN OUR OWN WORDS"- section where ppl will write out their stuff in their own words. tell us if u wanna participate k.
  • send BENJAMIN CHOONG gifts. email me k if u wanna send some gift.
  • Something that will be revealed in december.
  • The last special is.... TELL EVERYONE ABOUT OUR CHRISTMAS SPECIAL .......THANK YOU..........

Thats all for now. pls participate in some of the following activities.

By santa CLAWS, BEN ................... jingle bells jingle bells...............

Merry XXX-Mas

its christmas or some ppl call it x-mas. Y, xxx-mas. you get what i mean??? nvm. ok so ea christmas is holiday so i am on holiday so u wont be seeing me soon. HAHA good ridance for bad rubbish, but I'll be back. let me giv u a tip on when i am off. GONE AT 18 DEC BACK AT 22 DEC GONE AGAIN AT 23 BACK AT 28. does this make any sense. ya it does...... nvm.

TO every reader reading this lame post:
MERRY CHRISTMAS... i noe its too early.

o and to lit how who i dunno whether is he gonna sit on the plane and fly somewhere... hopefully amsterdam or my hse or even in jesslyn's house celebrating er... i dunno: MERRY XXX-MAS.

OK this is really crap k, dun take it to seriously.. fine take it seriously because i dont think anything will happen to me rite???

By santa CLAWS, Ben

reply to Siew Meng.... and litao!!!!

OK, this blog will definately be deleted but.................. it is not now, maybe after we leave school but definately not next year, so does that satisfy ur answer, probably not but who cares, it is not
crap anyway.

By, Ben

2009.. end of cookiemonster789???

i got tis ques from one of our readers, siew meng..

Siew Meng: hmm there will not be 2008 2C next year..so is this blog going to be delete?

before i answer this question, shouldn it b ben the chief editor to answer tis ques but if u c the time tis is posted hes alrd asleep n i nid to giv u the ans immediately rite? so...

my answer: good question.. no.. the blog is not going to be deleted.. the stories that'l b in tis blog will depend on the class we're going.. n mayb we'll keep writing stories bout the 1 thats interesting e.g. jeshan...... so dun wori... there wont b 2008's 2c in 2009 but theres definitely goin to b 3a-3 watever........ ok?? even if no more story, this blog still has our 2c ups n downs in it......(ya rite) anyway this blog is not goin to b deleted for now... it may depends on the votes at the poll ( wat do u tink of our blog )... im goin to discuss it wit the other editors before the decision is made...



by, bird

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

results for ' who do u tinks lit how like...

the results for the poll (Who do you think lit how like?)
note: words in green is wat i comment bout it...

Jeanne: 3 votes-8% r u blind??? i like her??? wont like her forever....

Wai Loan: 0 vote-0% of course i dont like her

Khye Yin: 1 vote-2% i guess theres somebody in this world thats seriously brainless

Jesslyn: 22votes-64% this should be 100%.... but nvm at least more than half

Others: 0vote-0% i onli lik 1 and 1 oni

None cause he is gay: 6votes-17% :O do i look gay to u????

You: 2votes-5% wonder if 1 of them is jesslyn that vote... or mayb ben that crappy guy

ok... thats the results.. if can pls tell who u vote for at the comments/chatbox....

by, bird

reply to darryl

eh.. u sudenli go say i hack ur acc.... u mental or u left ur brain at aussie??? the truth is ur not gay rite?? not gay then pls SHUT THE F*** UP!!! even if i hack ur acc n write lik that, u tink other ppl willl believ meh?? use ur brain la can a not?? oh ya, u left it at australia in the kangaroo pouch..... anything bad bout u oso u must be aNGRY N KEEP SCOLDING N SCOLDING.... u try read all the posts, got any1 complain anot??? if u so easy get angry, dun read the blog lo.. quit lo... its ur choice..


by, bird

Lets shut out lit how once and for all!!!!!!

OK, I need every1's help and support so that we can teach lit how a lesson by criticising him to the max. Don't all of u tink he is too much? He even hacked my friendster account and sent a message to all my friends on friendster that I'm gay. N for all of u who has been criticised on the blog, lets bring this to an end. I just wonder y can't he be like benjamin n jian han who post stuff oni which is not too much. So if any of u hu wants vengeance, pls giv me sme info bout anything bad about him. If u guys wanna help me, pls contact me at 0176173073. If u tink lit how is rite, go eat shit and go f*** urself.



Posted by: darryl

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The second analysis of Daryl louis.

as a continuation of our shocking investigation, there are many possibilities that we can look in this shocking investigation. OK, lets be more informal cause i'll feel bored reading this.



hey, did you guys recieved a piece of e-mail that daryl send to all his friends he is gay??? The truth is........... he is not gay, but really crazily gay, not just any gay but a homo-homo. you know what i mean. ok this is crap. i tot it was his little tiny weird smelly small brother that did this funny yet nasty actually great piece of joke. well i dont think he did it because he did not.



then a few hrs ago, daryl wrote in the chatbox " I ADMIT IT I AM GAY." well it could be anything but, who would be so evil to do this rite??? yea rite or not really rite or it was daryl that did it.

what i think i can explain the reason for this... unlike chai lit hows theory is.... well u see, after he became gay, he then made Jian Han his partner. it all went well for a few month, when lit how and me told the truth about them gaying. so they broke off. Daryl then decided to find another partner so he told everyone that. So this is my crappy reason. it may be real or may not. But mostly real k.

so now what we'll like to find out is........... who will be Daryl's next partner..... we're hoping to get answer.

written by crap the cat, BEN

is darryl really gay????????????

any1 that has darryl's msn add wil definitely be surprised cos of his display name and personal message.... his name: the gayest guy ever pm: who lives in a gay house under the sea.. daryl louis and i am gay forever...
darryl louis de souza... a guy that swears more than any othr ppl is gay????? mayb he is gay.. however whether is he really gay or not, we still dunno... its still under investigation.. mayb u guys tink that he went to aussie so this is jus something we wrote bout him but we got some evidence...
evidence 1: his msn
evidence 2: his friendster if u haven add him yet.. use this link http://profiles.friendster.com/46269710
those are the evidence we got for now... but he is acting kinda gay nowadays... so mayb he is gay.. who knows?? since his heart is broken cos khye yin dun accept him then mental disorder+saD+stress, that may cause him the gayness hes in rite now... so tis is the progress of our investigation now.. we'l keep u posted with evry of our new clues/evidence/proof...



investigation done by, cat n bird
written by, bird

Friday, December 5, 2008

the truth bout the students in 2c: roze nn

before i start im goin to teach u maths... this is kinda lik add-math but jus created by bird.. basic theory: e.g. roze nn + khye yin= world war III....... jian han + jeshan= street fight.......... get it? good... now we can start..




  • nickname(s): female lion/lou fu lar
  • fierce(thats how she get the nickname)
  • the 1st reader to complain bout the post
  • red house
  • netball(i tink so)
  • pbsm
  • got friendster (wat 4 i mention tis??)
  • loves pet dog(oni smalls 1)

ps to roze nn: happy???

by, bird

:O wat the !@#$%^&*(_)(*&^%$#@@#$%^&

wah.... cookiemonster 1st time no post leh.. wait, wat r u guys reading now is a post rite??? so dun care la.... tis post is bout...... i hav no idea wat is it about... so that means pls guys giv us some idea..... the truth bout the students in 2c will be posted anytime without any notice/schedule or watever.......


by, bird

Thursday, December 4, 2008

how do u define me? retarded or insane?

PARENTAL ADVISORY FOR EPLICIT GORE AND VIOLENCE





this morning, 12am->1am my cousin was friendstering... its so boring.. for me.. then its raining so a lot of insects/bugs was in my room.. since i was so boring and cant sleep... guess wat i did?? i took a dvd cover(the plastic thing..u know) then caught a few n put them in it... i can c they're squeezed and can barely breath so i dun wan b so bad la... make them suffer lik that.. the easier way is to take a needle and help them do acupuncture lo.. c i so nice rite.. mayb their blood veins and body is too small so i cant b sure whr i poked.. the oni thing i know is in their head.. imagine a needle going through their tiny little cute disgusting head.. all the stuff squeezed out lik how u accidentally step on an orange.. then theres a grasshopper on my arm!!!!!!!!!! it ended up in the dvd cover and my special acupuncture treatment.. y is it special?? not bcos it kills, not becos it using gigantic needles but becos i use thread too.. i sew the grasshopper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!!! its like tied to the dvd cover oni wit thread going through its body... 1st i sew between its legs to make it cant move at all.. then i started sewing at their body and at last, the head... its so fun...

by, bird

notice

hi..... ben, help me post ah cos this stupid modem sometimes cant work 1 so u post la... secondly, bout the december specials, the board of directors(board oni got me, ben, darryl n jian han wat..) decided that 1 day dun nid 4ppl.. simply post can d... dun care... third: wtf voted bad for the vote: what do u tink of our blog??? i dun care who, its ur right to vote so its cool.... last but never forgotten, BIRD!!!


by, bird

the dullest post ever

here i am sitting infront of my laptop thinking what is so boring that i can post in the internet.
then i watched 2 flies eating my ommelete flying around for 45 min so i took a calender and smashed it on the table. then i spend 10 min cleaning the mess of the dead fly. then i daydreamed for another 40 min. so i decided to not write anything. so i pressed cancel in my post.

by: ben

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The truth about student in 2c, Jeanne

Muahahahahahahahahhaha. I know u'll kill me if u read this Jeanne ABDULLAH, but i got 9 lives muahahahahahahaha.




  • OK so the name is Jeanne rina or reana?? OO i knoe jeanne abdullah.(cause badawi's wife.)

  • whitishly unblackful grayish crap colour black.

  • formally an EX of Chai Lit How. currently with Badawi.

  • PREFECT.... NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Miang Women. Great in sick games.

  • 1 word .......... SICK. as in miangishly sick.

  • hairstyle : AFRO ( hey, that is so like the 60's, downgrade )

  • 1 more word.... bossy.

  • another 1 more word... weird.

  • laughs alot when watch porn.

  • loves to watch porn.

  • got 10 children. (deng what am i saying)
  • my granma's dog's dog's germs'germ's faeces has a better hairstyle then her.
  • laughaholic.
  • amused in anything. i mean EVERYTHING.
  • like to gossip alot.
  • rocks in playing sick games eg: hang a women.
  • err.... always say omg
  • she is not available cause she is currently having an affair with badawi.

this is what u should noe about lit how's EX......

to jeanne: u should try painting ur skin white. its better that way. o ya dont kill me.

by a crappy cat, BEN

The truth about student in 2c, Nam Yang

OK so i am posting d k. happy litao??? atleast i posted 1 yesterday bout chun san...... OK so today, the first person is Nam Yang. so here's all the stuff about nam yang.

  • names Nam yang.
  • nickname DRACULA. ( why do i say dat?? tell u later)
  • Gay, cause he couples with calwin.
  • SEXY (joking)
  • our class ketua kebersihan. He is very very good, cause he seldom ask me to membersihkan class. : )
  • always happy. Ok i cant really tell the diff if he is happy or not cause when he opens his mouth it looks like smiling.
  • Never gets angry, so i wont be scared he will kill me.
  • should wear braces. I mean seriously, i am not kidding. sry anyway.
  • quite good actor.
  • hmm.... what else????
  • Clean????
  • not sure whether he has a dirty mind.
  • so a body of a 14 yr old, mind of a 13 yr old, sense of humour like a er... 12 yr old?
  • currently unavailable but dateable.

no offence to you nam yang k. this is jus for laughs. if u wanna kill me, i dont think so.

By a humanly cat, BEN

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

the truth bout the students in 2c: monica

ok.. the 4th person of the day..... note to ben: y cant u post?? yesterday my turn, today i replace u, tmrw i post oso??? u watch out.... lets start....


  • nickname: white witch from narnia (i wanted to write white bitch from epic movie)
  • hong wei's future wife
  • white skin.. i mean lik too white
  • as smart as ben and chun san... ok, smarter... happy guys???
  • ideal wife ( for hong wei oni)
  • face not ugly just a bit whitishly white
  • body.. ehem.. i dun wana talk bout it, not that its bad just not nice to talk bout it
  • try annoy her, see whether she kills u or not cos we'r currently doin a research on that
  • overreact depends on the topic
  • clean mind.. i dun think its dirty at all

short n simple.. lazy do so long cos later i ""accidentally"" write bad stuff hong wei will come after me..

by, bird

the truth bout the students in 2c: jong wey

3rd person of the day....... jong wey......

  • nicknames: winter, spring, summer and fall... dun believ me? chck out his msn display name
  • academy awards winner for the best class monitor 2008
  • very kwai cai
  • guys and girls favourite
  • english sound kinda weird
  • currently in a relationship with yen lin from 2d(i created tis rumor myslf)
  • gay wit nam yang b4 couple wit yen lin
  • perfect engineered body (ya rite....)
  • friendly (of course)
  • kissed by jian han b4 for duno how many times d
  • the next future james bond (james brooke)
  • maybe future best asian hollywood actor
  • date him la, where else to find a guy lik him????

by, bird

the truth bout the students in 2c: yin ling

the 2nd person for today is chek yin ling.... however i dun reali know anything bout her so im jus gona write it short n simple..


  • nicknames: miang woman and one of the seven dwarfs from snow white
  • laughs alot
  • kinda brainless but still got a bit brain
  • unavailable, currently in a relationship with the ""prince"" from snow white

i duno anything else bout her................. so if u know and want to add it, pls contact me(bird)...

by the dumbest person ever, bird

IMPORTANT NOTICE

this blog, cookiemonster789 is not meant to condemn/insult/cheong sui any1..... posts that were published are for reading and fun only... any other question regarding this, please contact the editors (email add and hp number provided at the bottom of page)...

the december specials; the truth bout the students in 2c, someone (identity p/c) asked me who will be in the next post for the truth bout the students in 2c... we ,the editors choose randomly so dont simply think... by the way, we are currently recruiting writers and if u hav any story/rumor or watever u wan other ppl to know, pls kindly contact us...

The truth about the students in 2c: HUI CHUN SAN

Here are the some crazy yet unrealishly real. chun san pls dont kill me can???? i bet u wont : ) or u will????

  • nickname: hak chuk sang or king of the jungle and also durian head.
  • VERY HAIRY.... espiecially in under arms and u noe where.
  • 1 word, LONG - he said that himself.
  • quite cowardly brave.
  • he is smart but not as smart as me. OK FINE, he is as smart as me, happy???
  • computer iliterate, that means a loser in IT.
  • fathers a head chef in eastin hotel's jap restaurent, eyuzu. I love that place.
  • is part of the atheletes.
  • 1 more word, SMELLY. He has body odour cause he only showers for less then 2 min and never use soap or shampoo and also vry hairy lah.
  • Not gay lah. <- (i cant believe i said that)
  • watches porn but thinks its boring.
  • likes Chin Wai Loan, not sure whether she likes him or wai pan though... maybe both.
  • active in scouts.
  • handsome but not as handsome as my dog's germ.
  • likes to slap ppl like me, litao and jian han.
  • study freak.
  • lives in hospital bahagia.
  • got pee constipation.
  • Hates taufu boy jus like us.
  • unusually crazily unmatureish mature, but like to act maturely unmature.
  • has a body of a 20 yr old, mind of a 10 yr old, genitals of a 30 yr old, sense of humour of a 10000 yr old and knowledge of a newborn baby.
  • i dont think he is available, so date .... no its not my dog, date err... my dog.

to chun san: try smelling urself.

p.s no offence to u chun san.

BY a crappy somebody, BEN

Monday, December 1, 2008

the truth bout the students in 2c: carmen cheah

im posting lik mad but thrs oni 4 ppl a day in the december specials.. mayb im goin to post bout something new oso... for the last one today, carmen cheah kar mun.......

  • names: carmen, kar mun, bulldog
  • my sis n many othr ppl's sis oso but i duno who
  • thinks bout other ppl 1st
  • smart (kind of)
  • likes a guy from duno whr
  • positive person
  • laughing/lol-ing is wat she always do
  • a lil sensitive
  • love guru
  • librarian
  • girl guide
  • blue house
  • likes to take pics, kinda vain, but its normal rite??
  • friendly

i duno wat to write d......dun wan write so bad ma rite?? i dun hate her oso..... so thats all la..........

by, bird

the truth bout the students in 2c: ben

ben... one of the editors of cookiemonster... mayb u guys think that i wont write bout him but hes from 2c rite??? btw, the truth of the students in 2c for me, jian han n darryl is in the november's archive... cos of early posting..... no ofence ben :D


  • hes big size not fat
  • future malaysia pm
  • he likes to study
  • perfect lecturer
  • ben dun lik porn but im not sure whether hes gay or not
  • loves wwe
  • immature, dun lik to act mature but always say ppl act mature
  • ben talks bout stupid stuff when hes bored
  • very rich
  • hates oky lik all of us
  • competetive
  • likes to win
  • able to cause tsunami when he dives
  • liks to write crap and stupid stuff on the blog lik me
  • no chance to date him so date his dog instead

by ur retarded editor, bird

the truth bout the students in 2c:jeshantaran

note: taufu boy part 2 will be published tomorrow(2nd december 2008). december special issue:(the truth bout the students in 2c).

  • name:jeshantaran
  • tall
  • he's hairy
  • nickname: overgrown giraffe
  • likes to bully small kid like jian han
  • he is brainless
  • he likes to flirt with humans and hates other female giraffes
  • body long, cock short
  • he is not gay maybe gay extremely gay gayish not gay at all but somehow gay(wat am i talkin bout??)
  • he drink too much milk
  • hes black but greenish black (greenish black:its crap)
  • has the ability to switch identity between human and animal
  • strong blackie power
  • if u look at a black pole, u'll think of him
  • tall but useless
  • most useless ketua perabot in the world history
  • got balls but very small (magnifying glass required for viewing)
  • enjoys pussy-watching
  • hobby is raping and growing taller
  • escaped convict from zoo negara
  • ate his homework n textbooks
  • favourite music is lion roar
  • favourite food is grass, drink is pee
  • eat his own faeces

thats it for now... since he not so popular (at cookiemonster).. pls dun kill me, jeshan..

THE SHOCKINGLY NASTILY IDIOTICLY CRAZY TRUTH BOUT TAUFU BOY AKA JONATHAN CHAN TAUFU.

TAUFU BOY AGAIN??? THATS RITE... HE'S BACK AND HE IS GONNA BE... I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY. I AM SORRY IF I WRITE BAD THINGS BOUT YOU... NAH HU CARE'S WRITE THEN WRITE LO... IF U WANNA CRY DEN JUS JUMP OF A BUILDING MUAHAHAHAHAHA. GO AND TIU LAU LAH TAUFU BOY. U WAN KILL ME OSO SEE MY DOG RUN TEN MILES AND FLOOD PJ D LAH!!!

SO HERE IS THE FEWW THINGS ABOUT TAUFU BOY:

  • HE IS KNOWN AS TAUFU BOY, CHAN TAUFU, TAU CHIONG SUI, AMPANG YONG TAUFU, CHAU TAFU AND ALL THE TAUFU DISH.
  • WE HATE TAUFU BOY.
  • LIKES TO CRY
  • LIKES TO POINT MIDDLE FINGER AND THINKS ITS MACHO. MY DOG CAN POINT BETTER THEN HIM BUT I SCARED HE CRY AND FLOOD THE PLACE.
  • LIKES TO SAY F WORDS BUT WHEN HE HEARS IT HE CRIES.
  • CRIES ALOT
  • HE HAS NO BALLS AT ALL. SERIOUSLY, THEY WERE EATEN BY HIS OWN DOG. GOOD ON U DOGGIE BUT I AM SURE IT TASTE NASTY.
  • HE IS GAY, THAT IS HOMOSEXUAL. I AM NOT KIDDING OK??
  • HE HAS A BODY OF A 14 YR OLD GENITALS OF A 1 YR OLD, BRAVERY OF A NEGATIVE 1000000000 YRS OLD BRAIN OF A.. OK HE HAVE NO BRAIN.. AND MUSCLE OF A 100000000000 YR OLD TAUFU.
  • HE IS BRAVELY UNBRAVE.
  • CRIES EVEN MORE
  • HE IS AROGANT PROUD SNOBBISH AND BALLESS
  • HE LIKES FOOTBAL TO MUCH... EVERYDAY OSO FOOTBALL... ADDICTEED AND NO CURE D
  • LIKES TO GOSSIP ABOUT PPL ( THATS NORMAL LAH) BUT WHEN PPL GOSSIP ABOUT HIM, HE CRIES.
  • LOVES TO WATCH SESAME STREET BUT THINK ITS TO VIOLENT FOR HIM SO WHEN HE WATCHES HE CRIES.
  • FLOODS IN KL ARE CAUSED BY HIM FOR OVERLY CRYING.
  • USEFUL FOR AHLI BOMBA. (BUT AHLI BOMBA FEEL DISGUSTED SO NOT USING HIM ANYMORE)
  • HOBBY IS CRYING
  • HELP HE IS FLOODING PJ!!!!
  • LIKE A GIRL ( NOT HE LIKS GIRLS BUT HE IS LIK A GIRL )
  • VERY CICI, HIS MOTHER ALWAYS SAY "CHAN CHAN, RU OK? DUN CRY, MUMMY CARRY U AND FEED YOU MILK"
  • HAVE A DUCK LIKE MOUTH, BUT WORSE THEN A DUCK'S MOUTH.. 1000K TIMES WORSE.
  • MY DOGS PET'S DOG'S PET'S FLEAS FLEAS' FLEAS' GERM IS EVEN MORE HANDSOME AND GOOD LOOKING THEN HIM.
  • PUMPING LIKE HUMPING.
  • TO MANY THINGS TO SAY D BOUT HIM
  • CRIES WHEN SOMEBODY TOUCHES HIM.
  • MY ADVISE TO U ALL, DONT DATE HIM, DATE MY DOG OSO BETTER.

NOW WHO WANTS PART 2

TO TAUFU BOY: WE HAVE 2 WORDS FOR YOU... NO ITS NOT THAT WORD... NO ITS NOT GO DIE EITHER... ITS GROW UP!!!! AND SUCK IT. OK THATS 5. THIS IS NOT CRAP EITHER.

TO TAUFU BOY'S MOTHER: SLAP HIM

BY A SPECIALIST IN SMTHING CRAPPY, BEN.

SPICES ADDED BY, BIRD

Sunday, November 30, 2008

THE SHOCKING TRUTH OF CHOONG JIAN HAN aka man vs wild

This is about my cousin Choong Jian Han... this imformation may be shocking and not for the weak hearts.

  • Looks can be decieving
  • Jian Han sings like my grandma's grandma's great grandma's dog
  • Jian Han likes watching discovery channel.
  • Jian Han is my cousin.
  • Jian Han likes one of the 3 pork chops as shown in the list of nicknames.
  • Jian Han is very arrogant sometimes.
  • Jian Han can be abit stupid at times.
  • Jian Han is disgusting.. eg:dig his nose and eats it, drink pee and faeces, likes to wash his face with drain water and the list goes on for another 100miles.
  • Jian Han likes to watch the xxx stuff same like litao.
  • Jian Han is vry sensitive, eg: he always he is hurt.
  • Jian Han is very irresponsible.
  • Jian Han is 4 ft 8 or smthing like that
  • Jian Han likes to make fun of ppl espiacially girls.
  • Jian Han got a mind of a 7 yr old body of a 10 yr old...girl and smartness of a 8 yr old...yeah!!!
  • Jian Han likes britney spears.
  • Jian Han likes barney and teletabies
  • He is not gay but very very very damn not so but vry so gay
  • Jian Han's father is damn strict.
  • Jian Han likes being the centre of attention.
  • Jian Han is not a baby!!!!
  • O ya... his nickname is little boy... or xiao didi

this is totally true because i am his cousin..hehehehe...hahahahah...muahahahhaha. you'll never see jian han the same way again.

p.s. to jian han: dont kill me.

p.s.s: if u wanna date jian han the best gift is a dog for him.

By some crap,BEN

the darryl louis de souza personality review

darryl's still at aussie so i think hes goin to kill all the cookiemonster editors that wrote bout him.... but u know wat they say............................ wtf they say actuali???? i hav no idea... if u're interested in darryl and wanted to date him(gender can be anything), i suggest you to read this and remember it....

  • hes a portugese (but not even 1% of cristiano ronaldo)
  • he wear specs which is reported stolen from the us national history museum
  • dlds, darryl, darryl louis, d-zhai, hak kwai, coward, siu sa ko is all his name
  • hes crazy bout football
  • he is short, muscle-less(i mean weak)
  • he likes to swear
  • hes hopeless in love
  • hes somehow sensitive ( but hes nth compared to taufu boy)
  • he watch barney but he says its porn
  • dlds is interested in gigolo
  • he like to act cool
  • ben's dog looks better than him
  • brain of a 3yr old but a body of 8000 years old
  • doesn hav any sense of humor
  • not black but whitishly black
  • mayb he still liks oky
  • he has no taste in choosing gf
  • doesn know wats the best place to go during holidays (ben go AMSTERDAM but he go aussie... haih)
  • got bikini body
  • pregnant 5 months and duno y the baby wont grow anymre

dun wan write d..... later he kill me......... but who cares?????????????????

  • age 14 but mind is -1001010000yrs old but still he liks to act mature
  • the person who found the fatt-din disease which has been mutated from aids
  • he runs lik a girl
  • do not date him bcos he's gay but i tink he liks both gender........... date ben's dog better

ok thats all for now..... later he come bck from aussie, hope he wont kill me...

p.s. pls dun kill me......

The first ever article that is done together by cat & bird......

Saturday, November 29, 2008

THE REAL TRUTH BOUT LITAO!!! REVEALED...EXPOSED XXX

Nth much xxx in this story so if ur a miang person no point reading but if ur interested in Lit How.... well u can read this and also ask me if u wanna noe more bout him. hehehe. Dun kill me litao : )

this is a list of stuff u should know:
  • Lit How is bald (nth big).
  • Lit How loves prost.
  • Lit How watch u know what when he is bored.
  • Lit How is miang.
  • Lit How lives with his aunt and uncle.
  • Lit How hates children eventhough he has child like mind
  • Lit How likes football
  • Lit How is immature like jian han but like to act mature.
  • Lit How is vry vry serious yet not serious but seriously not serious but also kinda serious
  • Lit How is not gay.
  • You have no chance dating Lit How so date Nigel Ting or ME

By someone crappy, BEN

Friday, November 28, 2008

movie scene



this is a scene from a movie which i jus watched for the 3rd time.. so i got this scene and i want u all to guess what movie is it from... pls write down ur answer at the comments or email me (lithow619@hotmail.com)..... if u wan to tell ur answer to ben, his add is (ben13_genius@hotmail.com) but i cant guarantee u ur answer will be confirmed immediately so i advise u to email me instead.. (not to say ur useless,ben) y i so cheong hei 1 ah??? anyway pls pls pls pls leave ur answer at the comments/email... name can put nickname.. dun care...






hint: this movie is listed in the favourite movies vote and it got 2 votes...

btw, sorry... correct guess no prize :P just for u all to have some fun...


image by, bird
text by, bird
done by, bird

Pure Genius!!!

OK so the story begins in a primary school at pulau pinang or anywhere in Malaysia....

the teacher was teaching the class basic math. She then told her class a math question.

Teacher: If you was driving at the penang bridge at totally over the speed limit and there were 3 road blocks along the penang bridge. If each fine given for speeding was rm 150, how much do you need to pay??

A smart alec type of boy (just like me) raised up his hand then he stood up and answer.

Boy: Rm 150

Teacher: huh??? but each fine is rm 150 why do you say that??

the boy then replied....

Boy: we only need to pay Rm150 because Rm50 each for each policemen bribe. Rm50 multiplies by 3 i Rm150.

The teacher then fainted. This shows the coruption in Malaysia. Even a small boy like Ah boy here also knows how to bribe.

By: BEN

daryl's story part 2

before i start, pls vote for wat do u tink of our blog.. n daryl,enjoy ur holidays n im sorry wat i wrote bout u last time cos this 1 is much worse......

like wat ben said, daryl is a guy that always wants attention.. he wear drop pants lik the pants got bit by a rottweiler n cant pull back up again.. u know wat i mean??? he likes to say f-word which is seriously stupid cos he say it for no reason... y he likes to point middle finger?? cos he got angry and irritated or watsoever... hes short n he liks to pretend that hes tall..... look at jian han, short,irritating, stupid, disgusting (no ofence ah, jian han)..... but hes still cute and at least he doesn act lik darryl..

he said love is dumb... jus bcos he doesnt get to be wit khye yin so he was lik !@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()_(*&^%$#@!#$)(*&^%$#$%^&*()+{_P)(*&^%$#@!@#$)_)(*&^%$#@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&!~@^&*_)(*&^%$#@...... n he said love is dumb.. try tell 100 ppl, love is dumb.. 80 out of 100 will give him a slap.... if all the 100 ppl is girls mayb he'l get 90 slaps.. then mayb he'll try ask 100 guys.. 60 will give him a slap.. so total is: guy + girlss group: 70, guy group: 60, girls group:90... total is 220 slaps n mayb he'l get a double.. who knows? i wonder wat happens if he tell everybody in this world love is dumb??


i dunno wat else to say n wtf am i writin above but who cares????????????? its fun although its stupid,crapppy, retarded n .............




by your stuppid,brainless retarded writer: bird

Continue of daryl's story.

Thx lit how for letting me write smthing eventhough its crap....

Before i start, a word to lit how and monica... this is not fats its muscle.... and not all fat ppl have short live. Later ur husband still alive and u kia(die) oredi den how??? Later all ur money go to him.... o ya and a word to daryl also, what i am gonna write may anger u in some way i cant think of... maybe till u heart attack or stroke or run to prost house i oso dunno so i advise u dont read mine. o ya and u should relax more, no offence have fun in Aussie

Daryl, his black like black, short like himself (no offence jian han) sensitive like er... sensitive guy?? Anyway its hard to understand him sometimes you get what i mean... i bet u do, or don't? ok so my point is what makes him like that and what are the symptoms???

you see, usually a short person except jian han, likes to get attention because their short rite, For example, read the story "the pencil" from ur form 1 literiture. apart from that, a person hu's race is not from black races but i black colour or blacker then normal white person has very low self esteem, that means no confidence. this will make him sensitive, but unlike taufu boy, he don't cry like taufu boy so he express his anger by swearing, doing rude gesture(pointing middle finger), acting tough to tougher person like me, pretending he is tall etc...

I know if daryl is reading this, he probably be say wtf wtf &(&%I(**&&*& endlessly and preparing to write bout me... but this is totally understandably sensitivly stupidly idioticly crappy but real. u see, these are the syptoms of u. But who cares... its crap.

Another thing u said is love is dumb??? WELL OFCRSE IT IS.... i mean most ppl will go to the extent like proposing in public right?? well his dumb..... from love right. ok its crap love is not really dumb its real dumbishly not dumb. what am i talking?? o ya i am talking crap cause i ran out of ideas. but u liking OKY the fat i mean thin BITCH well not so thin jus normally abornormally uglyfying thin, its really super duper dumb.

well thats nth more to be said, i wont leave the next part for litao to do cause he hav no more ideas so do i. no offence to u daryl but wont it be better to jump from a building. Is that crap?? o ya it is... so bb

From your dumbishly stupid idiot crazy crappy writer, BEN

reply to chinese zombie

wahhhhhhhhhh.... daryl, write me until lik that very fun isit??? but its quite nice.. dont u think u went too far with the cheating gf+asshole+no balls+sohai+gaying+no asshole+gth......... chill la.... i write bad stuff but a bit oni ma... u go write lik i kill ur whole family 4 wat??? last time ben oso write bout me then we do lik debate.. u know wats patience n open-minded??? i say u gaying ah, everybody oso know its fake la... so big reaction for wat?? scare ur gf read is it??? n 4 ur information, i alrd told her i like her, k??? dun chi chok chung ming.. know wat i mean?? hiaz.....



by, bird
Lit How: Evolution of Chinese zombie to a monk??????

You all noe we always call lit how names like BIRD, litau n others. But now I'm talkin bout one of his names, th chinese zombie. U all see he's like dam freakin white like a chinese zombie and his whole life is just smsing until he DIE. Well, he say I gay with jian han rite, maybe he's the one gaying with another guy. He's just purposely creating a dam story bout me n jian han. N tis is a message to that asshole: U better stop gaying dude if not no gals wil like you. Oh ya, ha ha you are cheating on s0me1.

Ok back to the story, like i said in the title, all of u saw his new hairstyle. That BIRD looks like a retarded monk that likes to gay. He also look dam freakin SOHAi. I tink he go find giggolo evryday. Oh ya, and a message for all guys, dun go near him if not he will do somthing bad to you, u all noe wat i'm talkin bout. N to all gals, if you choose to be with him, you all gt no brains cos he will 100% cheat on u.Oh ya he always say i dun have da guts to tel a gal i like her bt he oso same oni dare admit on the internet, a cowardly act. He got so much time to tel her bt he no balls. U say i no balls bt u oso dun have asshole. GTH birdman, litau, chinese zombie/monk and Mr. BIRD lit how!!!!!!!!!!!

Display-001.jpg

Chinese zombie monk( without the "ey")

Posted by: dLdS or darryl
bird: very funny daryl.. wtf r u talking bout anyway?? and its not my new hairstlye, im jus sick of it growing so dam fast n i must cut it every three/four weeks.. so bald better.. start of sch, not long not short... if u cant even accept wat i wrote about u, go die la.. ben write me lik sh!t oso i dun care...... wat la u... so easy get angry... sorry if i edited ur post but im lazy creating anothr post jus to reply u...
 
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